What is my fetish? How to explore your hidden desires

What is my fetish? How to explore your hidden desires

Our sexual preferences are as unique and diverse as our personalities. With more talk around fetishes and kinks in mainstream media, including Netflix’s How To Build A Sex Room, you might be left wondering, what is my fetish?

The very nature of fetishes center on a fixation with something largely nonsexual (such as feet, tickling, latex, nylon, etc), but if you’ve not experienced or fantasized about these in a sexual nature, how can you find out?

We believe finding what turns you on shouldn’t be rushed, and no online fetish test can ever substitute for fully exploring your body and fantasies. So, we challenge you to a more immersive journey into the kinkdom of fetishes. Here, we’ll help you figure out your personal pleasures, without the catch-all ‘what is my fetish’ quiz. Hold on tight!

Beyond the fetish test: open mind, open heart

Let’s get one thing clear - not everyone has a fetish and there’s no wrong or right way to find yours. Before you even ask ‘what is my fetish?’, it’s important to remember you might not have a particular fetish at all.

You might even be turned off completely at the thought of some fetishes, and that’s okay too. Or, you might discover a new kink instead (a kink is a sexual preference that some may consider to fall outside of the boundaries of ‘vanilla’ or traditional sex).

Ultimately, you might find a brand new fetish, completely unique to you! There’s so much to unwrap here, but, as always, the key to exploring fetishes safely is zero judgment, explicit communication, and clear, enthusiastic consent.

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Fetish test 1: Take stock of your sexual experiences

Whether you make a mental note or journal ideas, think about all of your most memorable sexual experiences - solo or with a partner. What made these experiences memorable? Can you spot any specific themes that keep recurring?

Perhaps you always keep your socks, tights, stockings, or specific footwear on during sex, or feel ultra aroused when a partner keeps them on? Maybe a particular sexy costume worn by a partner during Halloween sex stands out?

If your favorite filthy dirty talk involves being told you’re a naughty boy or girl, and need to be punished, you might enjoy stygiophilia - sexual arousal from thoughts of damnation.

A good fetish test is to think of specific attributes in a partner you are drawn to (that aren’t typically sexual), such as a specific type of belly button (navel fetishism), feet, or tattoos and piercings (stigmatophilia).

Fetish test 2: Take stock of your non-sexual experiences

Very often, fetishes aren’t discovered in the bedroom. For people with a fetish, it’s usually a nonsexual thing that turns them on to start with - many require it in order to feel sexual arousal. If you’re new to all things fetish, test how you feel in response to different sensations to start off with.

For example, do you feel titillated when tickled, either with a finger or a feather? Many people with ‘titillagnia’ feel sexual arousal associated to tickling someone or being tickled, and it’s a common feature in some BDSM play.

Maybe gazing at your reflection makes you feel some kinda way? While some may call this vain, others feel overwhelmingly lustful looking into a mirror while masturbating or having sex - the fetish is known as ‘katoptronophilia’.

Fetish test 3: Do you have any masturbation fetish themes?

It’s often easier (and more effective) to spice up your solo play before diving straight into an in-bed fetish test with a partner. The more you know yourself, the better your shared sexual experiences.

The good news is, if you’ve ever consumed adult content, you’ve got a perfect starting point to figure out your fetish. Just like the above exercise, think about the porn you watch, or erotic stories you read or listen to. Are there any categories or themes that re-appear? For example:

  • Have you ever found yourself fantasizing about fictional characters more than real people, maybe searching for adult versions of popular movies? Our FeelStar Britney Amber has played wild fantasy roles such as Sharon Carter in Captain America XXX, while Reagan Foxx is a big fan of cartoon porn - perhaps adult anime is something you’ve not tried yet.
  • When searching for erotic content, are there any non-sexual attributes you’re typing into porn sites? For example, red heads might get you super randy without fail - if so, look no further than our fiery FeelStars Lauren Phillips and Molly Stewart.

Some of these themes may turn you on as a masturbation fetish, but you may be cautious to try them in ‘real life’, or with a partner. To experience your fascinations as realistically as possible, apps such as FeelMe AI provide a life-like fetish test using AI technology.

Simply search for the type of adult content you want to explore, connect the Google Chrome extension, and sync your favorite Kiiroo masturbator to feel your fetish like never before.

Other interactive sex tech to try while you explore your favorite fetishes range from female vibrators such as our next-gen Pearl3 to our interactive Lumen.

The latter is a velvety-soft butt plug that glows when it vibes - perfect for partner-play, especially if you discover you’re into exhibitionism (a strong desire to be observed by other people during sexual activity), or consensual voyeurism (sexual pleasure from watching others when they’re naked or engaged in sexual activity).

Curious about kink? Fascinated with fetishes? Read our guide to 20 more fetishes and kinks and explore the mild to the wild.

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