How to Actually Build a Sex Room

Oh, I know you've heard of Netflix's new series How to Build a Sex Room — who hasn't? It sparks curiosity and makes you wonder, what does a sex room look like anyways? As host and interior designer Melanie Rose shows us, a sex room is open to interpretation. In other words, it's you and your partner's fantasy world, so it can be whatever you want it to be.

While your sex room can be whatever you desire, there are some basic steps to follow so your sex room is everything you want (and more). You're not going to have an interior designer building your sex room, so follow these steps to actually build a sex room.

Step 1: Choose the sex room spot

There's a lot to consider when building a sex room. Do you live with family? Live with roommates (that, uh, may be a little awkward)? Host guests at your place? Think about these questions before choosing your sex room location.

You may not be too concerned about privacy; in that case, your sex room doesn't have to be a secret. However, if you don't have an extra room, you may want your sex room (aka. bedroom) to be more discreet (I don't blame you!).

So, before going to the next step, realistically think about where your sex room will be. Once you have the space, you can decide on the design and the kinky accessories you'll have.

Step 2: Determine what you are your partner are interested in

Have you and your partner talked about what you're both interested in? It's important to build this sex room together. Even if it's your idea, your partner will also participate in the fun, so their opinion matters. Sit down and casually talk about what fantasies you're both interested in exploring and how "out there" you want your sex room to be.

For example, your partner may not feel comfortable with a sex swing in the room, and that's okay. If there's a fantasy you want to explore that your partner isn't comfortable with, revisit the topic later on and see if their feelings have changed. For now, you're building a room you both are interested in and feeling good about.

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Step 3: What's the vibe?

Your sex room isn't going to be a white room with a sex swing hanging in the middle (well, if that's the vibe you're looking for…). But seriously, the odds are, you want your room to spark the imagination and get those sex juices going (okay, I know that's not what you call it).

To nail the atmosphere of your sex room, you and your partner should create individual mood boards with colors you love and sexual fantasies you have. These mood boards will help inspire the theme of your room.

For example, if your mood boards are all about BDSM and colors of red and black, you may prefer a noir BDSM den or spicy Moulin Rouge theme. That said, you don't also need to go all out on an elaborate theme. Going for something more subtle like adding candles or dim lighting can add sensuality to your room.

Step 4: Add the subtle textures

You and your partner will decide on the theme of your room; there's no doubt about that. But now it's time to add some subtle textures because intimacy isn't only about toys. Texture plays a big role in pleasure. So, consider adding satin sheets, pillowcases, a fur rug, or a leather loveseat to your room. The different textures will awaken your senses.

Step 5: Now kink it up

Okay, now it's time to kink things up (you'll love this step). You and your partner have already talked about what you're sexually comfortable with, so with that information, you can fill your room with kinky objects that'll take your sexual experience to the next level. Kinky objects can be a ceiling mirror, a bondage kit, vibrators, rope, floggers, butt plugs, or a sex swing. It's your sex room, so fill it up with your favorite kinky things!

Step 6: Make sure it's an oasis for you and your partner

Once you've designed your sex room, give it a try. See how it feels for you and your partner. If something's missing or things you need to adjust, make those changes. A sex room is an oasis for you so if it's not doing the trick, switch things up!

You may not have Melanie Rose building your sex room, but you don’t need her. As long as you follow these steps, you’ll create actually build a sex room that will heighten your sexual experience and take you sex life to a whole new level.


Natasha Ivanovic

Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer best known for her writings on Kiiroo, LovePanky, Post Pravda, and more. She's the creator and author of her short stories on TheLonelySerb. She completed her first degree in Criminology and continued and finished her Masters in Investigative Psychology, but then decided to follow her true passion of writing.

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