Getting Into Oral Sex
Contrary to popular culture, not every woman enjoys receiving oral sex. Neither do some men. And if you’re one of them, know you’re not alone. Many people have a hard time relaxing and getting into oral sex.
But you still want to try it and because of past experiences you try to avoid it. However, there’s a high chance you need to make a couple of tweaks and experience it in a different way.
Find the right stimulation for you
When you read about cunnilingus, there are a couple of techniques that are recycled article after article. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it may not be what you need. Every woman is different when it comes to how to receive oral sex.
Some people don’t enjoy the feeling of clitoral stimulation via tongue, and that’s completely okay. You may be someone who prefers clitoral stimulation via a sex toy.
It’s your sex life, which means finding out what works for you. So, whether you have a male partner or a female partner, talk to them about performing oral sex techniques that are new—take this time to explore what gets you off.
Focus on getting out of your head
Sex, though physical, also has a huge mental component. If you’re too stuck in your head, you’re not going to enjoy the experience. You may be feeling anxious about having unprotected oral sex. Or worried about what your male partner or female partner is thinking about your body. These thoughts are normal to have; take steps to overcome them.
There are always solutions. For example, if you’re worried about having unprotected oral sex, buy protection such as a dental dam. If you’re self-conscious about what your partner thinks about your body, talk to them about it.
Also, I recommend taking some time to learn and explore your body through masturbation. Get yourself a sex toy, like Kiiroo’s Cliona Clit Stim Vibrator. Masturbation can help improve your self-image and self-esteem (and also give you an orgasm).
Identify your underlying intimacy issue
Now, you may not have an intimacy issue. It could just be that you’re nervous about letting someone go down there, and that’s totally understandable. However, some people see oral sex as more intimate than penetrative sex, which brings up underlying feelings about intimacy.
If you’ve had an uncomfortable experience in your past, explore them, seeing what’s preventing you from moving forward. Your sex life is in your hands, so be honest with yourself.
Masturbate, masturbate, masturbate
I’m not saying this without reason. The best way to get into oral sex is by masturbating and figuring out what turns you on. Are you someone who prefers clitoral stimulation, or do you enjoy anal stimulation?
Everyone likes different things, and while you can explore a new sex position with your partner, you can also do it on your own. This may work better for you as you’ll have the privacy and space to explore a sex act without pressure. Whether it’s with your hands or Kiiroo’s G-spot vibrator, or men’s stroker, masturbate.
Set the vibe
Setting the atmosphere isn’t so much for your partner, it’s more for you. Whether you want to receive oral sex, either blow jobs or cunnilingus, you want to be in the right mood.
Whatever it is that helps you relax, do it. Put on some music, light some candles, spend time in foreplay and slowly ease into it. Your partner shouldn’t jump into oral sex right away; it’s something that should be worked towards to.
Focus on the good feelings
Whether your masturbating or your partner’s performing oral sex, you’re going to have some hits and misses. It’s just a part of the learning experience until you and your partner learn about your body, what turns you on and what sex position hits the spot.
Instead of thinking about if you’ll orgasm or not, focus on what feels good. Use your moans to tell your partner what you like. When they see you positively responding, they’ll stick to what they’re doing. If not, they’ll switch it up.
Understand it takes practice
Getting into oral sex isn’t going to happen overnight. Yes, you may have had a bad experience, but that doesn’t mean the next time will be like that. It’ll take time and practice for you to learn what works and what doesn’t. Neither giving head nor eating pussy are as easy as they sound, so be patient. You’ll get there in time.
Scared of STDs?
Your sexual health is important. And if your fear of sexually transmitted diseases is stopping you from experiencing cunnilingus, it’s time we changed that. Yes, sexually transmitted diseases exist in all forms of sexual intercourse, but there are ways to stay safe.
With eating pussy, have your partner wear a dental dam. With giving head (blow jobs), you can use a condom or flavored condom. You have options to make sure you practice safe sexual intercourse.
Oral sex is an intimate and fun sex act that can help you explore your sexuality and what turns you on. Use these tips to help you get into oral sex, and you’ll be on the path to pleasure.
Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer best known for her writings on Kiiroo, LovePanky, Post Pravda, and more. She's the creator and author of her short stories on TheLonelySerb. She completed her first degree in Criminology and continued and finished her Masters in Investigative Psychology, but then decided to follow her true passion of writing.