Sex Techniques for Beginners

Covering up the basics

We all have to start somewhere. When you first start having sex, you just don’t know what you’re doing, and it’s completely normal. You think you know everything from movies and porn, but it’s a lot different in reality.

So, we compiled a list of sex techniques and new sex positions you can try out! Because sex is more than just penetration.


Fingering is when you touch the clitoris and vagina with your fingers. There are tons of different variations you can use. When the woman is lying on her back with her legs spread or bent, you can easily access her clitoris and vagina while keeping eye contact.

She can also be pressed up against you, chest-to-chest, so you can finger her and kiss at the same time. Fingering her while standing face-to-face or front-to-back are also great positions.


Cunnilingus is oral sex performed on a female. You use your tongue to lick, suck, and massage the clitoris, vaginal opening, and labia. Each woman is different, so listen to her body language to see what your partner likes.

Is she moaning with pleasure? Then you’re probably doing it right. Is she dead silent? Perhaps change up your technique. However, there’s no one-size-fits-all-approach. Play around with speed, pressure when licking or sucking her to see what works.

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Oral Sex

If you’ve heard of the grapefruit technique, then you already have an idea of what oral sex is. Oral sex is when the penis is stimulated with your tongue and mouth. It’s also known as fellatio or a blow job.

Now to give an amazing blow job, you don’t actually need to perform the grapefruit technique, so you can put the fruit away.

To give a blow job, you can start by licking the penis, and putting it into your mouth. Then, with lubricated hands (you can use saliva), make long or short strokes holding the penis in one hand.

While doing this, the penis is in your mouth, and you’re sucking on it either gently or firmly. You’ll have to find the rhythm that works for you and the receiver. Feel free to play with the pressure and speed, responding to their body language.

Penetrative Sex

When the penis enters the vagina, it’s called penetrative sex. Penetrative sex is also known as vaginal sex, “having sex,” or sexual intercourse. Don’t start by having penetrative sex right away; instead, work your way up to penetrative sex through foreplay first. This will help warm up the body, lubricating the vagina for penetrative sex.

Everyone has their own favorite positions, whether it’s a riding sex position or oral sex positions. A riding sex position is ideal for clitoral stimulation, which means the woman will be straddling the man, rubbing her clit against him.

For deep penetration, the woman needs to lie on her back, pulling her legs up, resting them on the man’s shoulders. The man is on his knees, thrusting deep into the vagina. But be careful; deep penetration can sometimes be painful.

Female orgasm

A woman orgasms when she’s aroused; however, many women struggle with achieving an orgasm. When an orgasm happens, the pelvic floor muscles contract around the vagina and anus, causing a rush through the body.

Most women achieve orgasm through clitoral stimulation. You can stimulate the clitoris by fingering or through oral sex positions. Stroke the clitoris with your finger or tongue, staying at the same tempo for a while.

Most women cannot orgasm through penetrative sex alone, so if you don’t want a ruined orgasm, stimulate the clitoris during foreplay to increase the chances of a female orgasm.

Male orgasm

Men orgasm when they ejaculate. When this happens, a white fluid comes out of the tip of the penis. Of course, you want to delay this from happening too soon to prolong your sexual experience.

To delay the male orgasm, focus on moving slower or stopping completely when he’s close to ejaculating. Wearing thicker condoms can also help delay orgasm. Don’t think delaying the orgasm will make for a ruined orgasm. For men, the orgasm will be even stronger and more intense.

Anal Sex

If you’ve wanted to try new sex positions, anal sex is probably on your list. Anal sex is when fingers, tongue, or penis enter into the anus. With a wet finger, you can stroke your partner’s anus, to relax them, or use your tongue. Licking the anus is called rimming.

There’s a new riding position to add to your list is great for anal sex. With the woman in cowgirl position, let her slowly allow the penis inside of her. From this position, she’ll have more control over speed and pressure. There’s also doggy style, where the woman is on her hands and knees, and has the man entering from behind.

If you’re new to having sex, it may feel a little overwhelming. However, practice makes perfect, and it’s going to take time to learn these techniques and find what feels right for you and your partner.


Natasha Ivanovic

Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer best known for her writings on Kiiroo, LovePanky, Post Pravda, and more. She's the creator and author of her short stories on TheLonelySerb. She completed her first degree in Criminology and continued and finished her Masters in Investigative Psychology, but then decided to follow her true passion of writing.

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