Tips for Great Anal Sex

In our previous blog, 'Anal Sex Guide For Beginners', we explained how to prepare for it, and now it’s time to take action. You may be a little nervous, wondering what you should do, but don’t worry. Here’s everything you need to do if you want to know how to enjoy anal sex.

Don’t Do It If You Don’t Want To

You may be reading this because you’re genuinely curious about having anal intercourse. If that’s the case, great. But you may also be reading this because your partner is interested in trying anal sex. If you’re feeling overwhelmed to try anal sex when you’re not interested in it, then don’t do it. 

You must talk to your partner and let them know what you’re sexually interested in and what you don’t want to do. Everyone has their limitations to what they want to do in their sex life.

Use Anal Play as a Warm-Up

Whether you’re an expert or fall into the “anal play for beginners” category, you can’t go straight into anal sex. For the receiver, the body needs to become aroused and relaxed. If not, the anus will be extremely tight and difficult to penetrate. Before anal sex, start with anal play. If you’re wondering how to anal play, it’s not complicated.

Essentially, anal play involves activities with the fingers, tongue, and anal play toys. As the giver, you can massage the anus with your fingers or perform rimming; it’ll loosen the anus. For the receiver, whether it’s anal play for women or anal play for men, both will feel pleasure from these activities. 

You can also use anal play toys to simulate what anal sex will feel like, familiarizing your partner with the sensations of anal sex. It’s crucial your partner relaxes and becomes acquainted with the feeling of anal penetration. Anal play for men and women is widely popular and is a perfect warm-up to anal sex.

Start Small

When having anal sex, you need to prepare yourself. If you’re new to this, it’s best to use anal play for beginners. Think of it as a warm-up. So, start small. Fingers, tongue, and anal play sex toys can help your partner adjust to the feeling. If you want to go one level up, try anal toys like butt plugs as they can be used during vaginal sex as well. Starting off small is always a good idea for first-time anal sex.


If you’ve read other anal sex tips, then you’ve seen this before. Relax. Trust us on this one; relaxation is the key to great anal sex. If you’re stressed and nervous, your entire body will tighten, and that’s not what you want. 

The sphincter, the muscle on the opening of your anus, is extremely sensitive and responds to your body’s stress levels. If you’re stressed, it’ll tighten. This isn’t a good formula for anal sex. That’s why you must focus on being relaxed during anal sex. The more relaxed you are, the easier it’ll be.

The Tip Hurts the Most

When it comes to anal sex, one part of the penis hurts the most: the tip. The tip of the penis is the thickest part which means it’ll give a sting when it’s being inserted into the anus. But, just because the tip is known to hurt the most, doesn’t mean it will. 

With enough lube and communication with your partner, it should go in smoothly. As a receiver, if you’re feeling slight pain, let your partner know. They can check on their end if they need more lube or need to slow down. Speaking of lube...

Check if You Need More Lube

Throughout anal sex, the giver needs to check and make sure there’s enough lube. If not, stop and add more. Without lube, it’ll cause pain for the receiver. If you’re giving, ask your partner how they’re feeling. Is there discomfort? Do they feel pain? If any of those questions are answered with a ‘yes’, then stop and add lube.

Go Slow, No Fast Movements

So, you have your condom on, it’s fully lubed, and you’re ready to penetrate your partner. Hold up! Not just yet. You may have seen some porn movies that are all about fast and aggressive anal sex, but that’s not going to happen in reality. 

You cannot go wild during anal sex; it’s not the same as the vagina. During anal sex, especially in the beginning, you need to go slowly, listening to your partner’s reaction. Keep a consistent pace that’s a little slower than usual, so your partner can ease into it.

If you’re changing positions, don’t pull out quickly. Any quick actions can cause the anus to tighten and the receiver to feel discomfort.

No, You’re NOT Pooping

If you’re receiving, it’s important to remember that you’re not going to poop. Yes, you may feel like you’re going to, but it’s not going to happen. When you feel this, don’t freak out and panic - nothing is going to happen. Just relax. If you tense up, it’ll only feel worse. Relax, take it easy.

Choose the Right Position

The right position can rock your world, and the wrong one can give you nightmares. Before trying anything, you need to know the right anal sex positions. Some of them are for people with more experience, and others are perfect for anal sex beginners. Certain positions can cause anal tearing, while others will give a mindblowing anal sex orgasm.

Stimulate Other Body Parts

If the receiver is a woman, they’ll be able to double their pleasure. With a vagina and clitoris, they can use toys or specific positions to hit all those spots at once. And when that happens, expect a fantastic anal sex orgasm. 

Don’t feel afraid to stimulate other erogenous zones during anal sex as well. There are a variety of sex toys for women and men you can also incorporate into the session. Just make sure you two talk about it beforehand.

Have Consistent Communication

Communication is the ticket to great sex. Whether it’s anal or vaginal sex, you need to communicate with your partner. Ask them how they’re feeling throughout the session, and listen to their body language. Are they moaning? Are they completely silent? If they’re not enjoying the experience, make sure you stop immediately.

There May Be A Little Bit of Blood

After anal sex, you may notice a little bit of blood. It’s nothing to worry about. Since the anus isn’t designed for penetration, it’s full of sensitive tissue and muscle. If any tissue or muscle tears, there will be a little bit of blood. But the keyword here is a little. If you’re finding discharge or excessive bleeding from your anus, stop having sex and contact your doctor.

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The 5 Best Positions for Anal Sex

You now know how to enjoy anal sex, but you may be wondering about the various positions. Is 'doggy style' the only one? No, it’s not. Whether it’s your first time trying anal sex or someone who’s done it before, you must know the other positions out there for you to try.

1. Missionary

The missionary position is a classic! You probably didn’t expect to see this on the list of anal sex positions, but there’s a reason why. It’s versatile and works for either anal or vaginal sex. Plus, you have the bonus of eye contact since you are face to face with your partner. 

It’s a position that allows you to move around easily and increases communication between partners. A pillow may need to go underneath the receiver for a better angle or have their legs resting on the giver’s shoulders.

2. Facing Down

Though it lacks eye contact, facing down is a great beginner’s position. The giver has more accessibility and control as they can see where they’re going. If you’re starting off with anal play for men or women receivers, this is a perfect position to start off with. 

The receiver will lay completely flat on their stomach with their legs spread slightly apart. After rimming or massaging the anus, the giver and smoothly transition into anal sex.

3. Cowgirl/Reverse Cowgirl

Being on top is great if the receiver is looking for more control over depth, pressure, and speed. With on top positions, the receiver can find the perfect angle for them that hits the spot. 

If the receiver is a man, he can easily slide up and down or side-to-side. Regardless of gender, both men and women receivers have optimal control during anal sex in the cowgirl/reverse cowgirl positions.

4. Doggy Style

Doggy style is one of the most well-known positions for anal sex, yet, that doesn’t mean it’s the best. Of course, doggy style is a great position, but if you’re a beginner, you’re better off with missionary or facing down. 

In doggy style, the receiver needs to be relaxed as the giver is in complete control. If you’re more advanced, you can incorporate breast or clitoral stimulation.

5. Lying Sideways

Another good position for beginners is lying sideways. If you’re nervous, lying sideways can provide a more relaxed experience. The receiver will lay on their side as the giver comes from behind, in a spooning position. This is also an excellent position if the receiver is pregnant or suffering from knee or back pain.

It may take some time until you find anal sex positions that suit you. Since everyone is different, you may discover another position that’s not on this list. 

What’s important is that you feel comfortable and relaxed in the position you’re in. If you’re interested in spicing things up, it’s time you learned what the best sex toys for anal sex are. 

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The 5 Best Toys for Anal Sex

Whether you’re trying anal sex for the first time or looking to incorporate anal sex toys into the mix, you need to know which ones work and which ones to leave behind. 

Here are the five best sex toys for anal sex.

1. Anal Beads

Anal beads are exactly what they sound like; a string of silicone or plastic beads of graduated sizes strung together. Anal beads are inserted into the anus and just before an orgasm, they’re slowly pulled out for increased pleasure and intensity. 

It works by opening and closing the anus as each bead is pulled out. If you want to experience an anal sex orgasm, use these beads.

2. Butt Plugs

Butt plugs have become widely popular and are great sex toys for women and men. Many people enjoy butt plugs because they give the feeling of fullness in the anus. When men and women orgasm, the anal muscles contract just like the penis and vagina muscles. 

Plugs provide extra intensity when you reach orgasm. Butt plugs aren’t meant to be moved around; they’re simply placed into the anus and left. You can find them in different materials such as metal, glass, or silicone.

3. Anal Dildos

If you’ve watched porn or have a dildo of your own, then you probably know they can be used as anal sex and anal play toys as well. The only difference between dildos and anal dildos is that the base of anal dildos are flared. 

Having a flared end prevents it from getting lost inside the anus. Anal dildos are meant to move back and forth inside the anus to reach orgasm. When looking for an anal dildo, focus on getting one that’s as smooth as possible. For beginners, find an anal dildo made of silicone as they’re more flexible than other materials.

4. Prostate Massagers

If you’re specifically looking at sex toys for men, then a prostate massager is your golden ticket. The prostate, as you read earlier, is located in front of the anus. If it’s stimulated, it’ll produce intense orgasms. 

Prostate massagers are designed specifically for this, as it massages the prostate via the anus. If you want to add some spice to your prostate massager, get one that vibrates. You can thank us later. This toy is ideal when trying out anal play for men.

5. Strap-on Dildo

Many people assume strap-ons are used only in lesbian relationships; however, that’s incorrect. In reality, strap-ons can be used in any relationship, regardless of sexual orientation. 

Strap-ons are the new must-have sex toys for women. If you’ve seen Broad City’s pegging episode, then you know what we’re talking about. Strap-on dildos can be fantastic sex toys for men and women.

Whether you’re a beginner or someone who’s had anal sex before, anal sex toys can be a great addition to the bedroom and help you ease into new sensations and stimulations. 

Now you know the best sex toys to look for when having anal sex. But what happens after anal sex? There are a couple of things you need to do after the fun is over.


Anal Sex Aftercare

Your anal sex session may have come to an end, but that doesn’t mean it’s over. Now, it’s time for anal sex aftercare. You love your bum, right? That means you need to take care of it after a night of fun.

Switch Condoms

If you’re going to be having vaginal sex after anal sex, you need to switch condoms. The anus has bacteria that can cause dangerous vaginal infection, and you don’t want it to spoil your fun. Plus, it’ll also reduce the risk of contracting an STI. In other words, it’s a smart thing to do.

Go to the Bathroom After

Just like after any sexual activity, you need to go to the bathroom and remove any bodily fluids that may have escaped the condom. If you used a silicone-based lubricant, then it’s a good idea to have a couple of wipes ready to remove it. 

Silicone-based lubes are best for anal sex, but they’re also thicker than water-based lubes. A gentle shower or wet wipes will do the trick of cleaning you up.

Wipe From Front to Back

If you’re a woman, you should never wipe back to front after having anal sex. Like we said above, the anus is full of bacteria that are dangerous for the vagina. 

Wiping back to front will push the bacteria into the vagina; that’s not what you want. Instead, make sure to wipe front to back, pushing anal fluids away from the vagina.

Have a Good Fart

You read that right. You need to fart! After anal sex, the odds are you’re going to feel gassier than usual. After anal sex for women and men, the sphincter is relaxed, causing gas to escape. 

But that’s not a bad thing; in fact, it’s encouraged. During anal sex, your body traps air and now it needs to get out. So, technically, it’s not a fart; it’s air.

Pay Attention to Your Poop

Your anus isn’t technically designed for intercourse, which means the muscle fibers and blood vessels, and tissue layers can be damaged during anal sex. Bleeding can be expected after anal sex if there’s tissue tearing. However, if there’s prolonged bleeding, discharge, or sores developing around the anus, you need to see your doctor.

Practice Your Kegels

If anal sex and anal play for women is repetitive, it can relax the anal sphincter. But that doesn’t mean you’re going to poop yourself. If you’re worried about that happening, kegel exercises are a great way to tighten the pelvic floor muscles and anal sphincter. 

Clean Your Toys

If you’re using sex toys, it’s essential to clean them after every sexual encounter. Your sex toys should be wearing condoms as well. Sex toys can hold bacteria and STIs; thus, it’s crucial you spend time cleaning your toys. There are specific solutions you can use or simple soap and water will do the trick.

With this guide, you have everything to need to know about anal sex. Remember, take some time to get acquainted with the anus, and focus on anal play before taking the big step to anal sex. By following the steps, you’ll feel more comfortable and confident during anal sex. We hope you enjoyed our anal sex tips and advice - have fun and enjoy safe sex!


Natasha Ivanovic

Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer best known for her writings on Kiiroo, LovePanky, Post Pravda, and more. She's the creator and author of her short stories on TheLonelySerb. She completed her first degree in Criminology and continued and finished her Masters in Investigative Psychology, but then decided to follow her true passion of writing.

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