A Beginner's Guide to Orgasm Denial

You want to add more spice into the bedroom, right? Well, one way to do so is through denied orgasm, also known as edging denial or tease and denial. But before we jump ahead, what is it? And more importantly, how to practice it? 

Luckily, you’re at the right spot. Our beginner’s guide is going to teach you everything there is about orgasm denial and how to do it right.

What’s Orgasm Denial?

Let’s start with the basics. What is orgasm denial? It is when your partner pushes you to the very edge of coming without allowing it to occur. 

They can do this to you, or you can do this to them. The beauty is that both men and women have the ability to do so, so it works on everyone. 

These tease and denial games are typically used in dominant/submissive relationships, where the dominant controls their submissive partner’s orgasm. The submissive gives their partner control over it—and it’s pretty hot.

How Does it Work?

So you know what it is and why people enjoy it, but how does it work? It is usually practiced as BDSM but not required. With edging denial, it’s based around the moment where one partner is on the brink of orgasm. 

The dominant partner will stimulate the submissive, making them highly aroused to the point they’re going to come. And just when the submissive is about to, the dominant stops and either stops momentarily or slows down to prevent it from occurring.

This can be repeated multiple times until the dominant allows the submissive to release all the built up tension. 

feelstar collection by kiiroo

The 2 Types to Know about

Who thought there’s more than one way to deny an orgasm! Here are different ways to deny your partner's orgasm:

Edging

Edging is the practice of bringing your partner to the brink of orgasm, then stopping or slowing down before they climax. It's done through oral sex, clitoral or genital stimulation, etc. You continue this over and over until your partner is ready to release it all.

Chastity Play

Chastity play is about taking on the complete dominant/submissive role, making it a bit more of an erotic sexual denial. It allows the dominant to have total control over their submissive partner, covering a wide spectrum of actions. Chastity devices for men and women are usually included, with either penis cages or chastity belts preventing them from performing a specific action or command.

Why Do People Love Denial?

Because it’s fun and amazing! 

Okay, there’s more to it than that. It all comes down to power dynamics, which is a huge turn-on for many people. But more than that, these tease and denial games break up the typical routine in the bedroom. 

For men, male orgasm denial creates a stronger orgasm, releasing a wave of dopamine throughout the body, giving high levels of arousal. It also increases stamina, allowing men to train their release and decrease premature ejaculation. 

For women, female orgasm denial gives the vulva time to build up an orgasm, as women usually need more time to climax than men. In addition, female orgasm denial increases clitoral sensitivity for stronger and more intense orgasms.

Is Orgasm Denial the Same as a Ruined Orgasm?

In short, no. Denial and ruined orgasms are not the same. Both male and female orgasm denial is when the dominant partner will stimulate the submissive until the point of orgasm, only to momentarily stop or slow down to prevent it from occurring. 

A ruined orgasm is when the submissive is stimulated until the brink of orgasm, and then the stimulation abruptly stops. When the stimulation stops, either it will occur, or it will be less satisfying as there is no stimulation. 

3 Ways to Achieve it

Here are three ways to make the most when practicing this with your partner. 

Start off simple

Of course, if you're familiar with restraints, feel free to use them. However, if you and your partner are new to the world of orgasm denial, start off simple and work your way up. Take the time to explore each other and learn from the experience. 

Use a safe word

When it comes to partner control, always make sure there’s a safe word made beforehand. The submissive uses it when they’re ready to come. This plays on the power dynamics and also gives the submissive some control. 

Incorporate sex toys

Sex toys can make a great addition, especially if the submissive needs assistance to achieve orgasm. Kiiroo Cliona clit stim vibrator or OhMiBod Esca2 can give the clitoris the extra attention it needs. 

Now, you know everything there is to it. All that needs to happen is trying it out for yourself! 

WRITTEN BY

Natasha Ivanovic

Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer best known for her writings on Kiiroo, LovePanky, Post Pravda, and more. She's the creator and author of her short stories on TheLonelySerb. She completed her first degree in Criminology and continued and finished her Masters in Investigative Psychology, but then decided to follow her true passion of writing.

Discover more of Natasha's Work

SIMILAR ARTICLES:

BDSM in a Long Distance Relationship
two people dressed up for bdsm in a long distance relationship

BDSM 101 - How to Get Started in BDSM

Five Ways to Use Erotic Hypnosis in your BDSM Sessions