How to Prepare for Anal Sex

Follow these tips to safely engage in anal sex or anal play

Anal sex is a bit like the forbidden fruit of lovemaking. It's tempting for some, but can come with added risk. For many, it can be an intense and thrilling experience. Although, if you've never tried butt stuff before, you may be unsure where to begin.

So, if you're one of the growing number of people who want to learn how to safely prepare for anal sex, this guide is for you. So let's dispel the myths and find out how to engage in anal in a way that's fun, safe, and feels great for everyone involved.

How to prepare for it

One of the great things about anal sex is that it's gender inclusive. Anyone can try it out, and anal play can form a part of a group sex session or used in solo play.

Plus, contrary to popular belief, anal sex doesn't need to be painful. And the stimulation of the thousands of sensitive nerve endings around the anus can make anal penetration feel incredible. This extends to all forms of anal stimulation, from P-in-A sex, to digital penetration, and oral stimulation (rimming).

However, there are a few things every budding anoreceptive participant should know beforehand. So it pays to educate yourself on the topic before you introduce anal play into your sex life.

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Talking it over

As with all forms of sexual activity, communication is key - and with anal sex there can be a lot to discuss beforehand. Sex educators, such as co-founder and CEO of Wild Flower, Amy Boyajian, is one expert who puts forward some suggested questions:

  • Will the act include full penetration?
  • Are toys going to be used?
  • Are there any things which are off-limit?
  • Any burning desires to try something out?
  • Which positions (if any) will you try?
  • What will you use for lube?
  • Should you use protection?
  • How can you make the experience more comfortable?
  • Have you given any thought to aftercare?

Along with talking it over, you also want to make sure everyone has given their consent and feels comfortable. It's vital that everyone who is taking part has expressed a desire to do so and is up fully committed to the act!

A word on hygiene

For the record, anal sex doesn't come with any innate hygiene risks that you wouldn't face otherwise. Your peach is just as clean as the rest of you. So as long as you have good overall hygiene, you don't need to feel as if there's anything dirty involved in the act.

This is because poop is actually stored much higher in your bowels than in the regions you will be coming into contact with.

Those who want to be absolutely sure of the cleanliness of their butt can opt for an anal douche prior to intercourse to get that squeaky clean feeling. A good shower and wet wipes can work just as well.

Use plenty of lube

Unlike the vagina, the anus is not self lubricating, so to keep things feeling good you really need to go use lots of lube. But don't just take our word for it.

Sex therapist, Dulcinea Pitagora, aka the 'Kink Doctor' recommends using a water-based-lube for anal play. One reason for this is that silicone-based lube can break down silicone toys and degrade condoms.

This means no Vaseline unless you're absolutely sure that silicone toys won't be involved.

Toys for anal play

There's a huge choice of toys available, from anal beads, to butt plugs, and vibrators. Just remember to never insert anything without a flared base, as a trip to the emergency room can really spoil your day!

How to do it

Now that you're fully up to speed you may be tempted to get stuck in - but not so fast! The first rule of having a satisfying anal experience is not to rush it!

We recommend setting the scene by getting in the mood. Take it slow and make sure to stay well lubricated. If it helps you can even put a towel down if it makes you feel comfortable.

Remember to relax and breathe as you gradually stretch your peach and build arousal to make the experience more enjoyable. Sex toys like the Lumen by Kiiroo can be great for this stage and can be used to enhance the experience.

Slowly work your way up, inch by inch, and you'll soon be able to work your way up to full anal gaping and fisting - if that's something which floats your boat.

A good place to start is with self experimentation. You can try with just a finger or a single anal bead, and slowly work your way up bigger things. It make even take a few weeks of this until feel that you are ready to transition to full blown anal sex - if that's something you even want to try.

For those who are wanting to try out full penetration; missionary, doggy style and spooning are excellent sex positions to use during the act.

do you need to be in love to have sex?

What are the risks?

Steer clear of using numbing agents. While at first these may seem like a good idea they can actually result in injury, as you won't necessarily know if something is wrong until too late.

Other things to watch out for (that totally shouldn't happen if you’re careful) are:

  • Tearing and infection
  • STIs
  • Pain
  • Anal fissures
  • Bleeding
  • Constipation
  • Hemorrhoids
  • Perforation

Also, never double dip! The balance of bacteria in the vagina is quite delicate and can result in infection if objects used in the butt find their way in.


Make sure to sterilize any toys, take a shower and bath, and talk things over with your partner. This can take things to a more intimate level if you decide to try butt sex again.


Anal sex or anal play can be a fun way to explore your body, with or without a partner. Just remember to take it slow and play it safe and you might just find a new way to liven up your sex life.


James Howard

James Howard is a freelance copywriter and content marketer who specializes in creating personalized content experiences for niche audiences. He has years of experience working in the performance marketing industry, and has strong ties to the affiliate world. James currently lives on a 27' sailboat in the Solent on a budget, works from his laptop, and trains calisthenics on the beach.