Adding Something New to Your Relationship
You’ve decided you want to surprise your partner with an interactive sex toy. Maybe you two are in a long-distance relationship. Or maybe you just want to spice things up in your relationship and sex life.
Either way, you’re a big fan, and you want your partner to jump on the pleasure bandwagon. The beauty is all sex toys can be used for solo pleasure or for couples; everyone likes versatility in the bedroom. If you’re looking to introduce sex toys to your partner, here’s how to do it.
Don’t surprise them in the middle of sex
Here’s the thing, everyone loves getting a surprise. But when it comes to sex, you should never surprise your partner with an interactive sex toy or new sex position you two haven’t discussed beforehand. It’s important to sit down with your partner before bringing a sex toy into the bedroom so you can see if that’s something they’re even interested in.
This is crucial because, first of all, your partner should be included in your bedroom plans. Secondly, your partner may not feel comfortable trying a sex toy. They probably want to ask you questions, try it out on their own, and become comfortable with the idea of it.
So, before you hit the ‘buy’ button, sit down with your partner and talk about using an interactive sex toy in bed.
Show them how to use the toy
If they’ve never used a toy before, odds are they’re not entirely sure how to use one. Since you’re experienced with toys, now is your chance to teach your partner how to use one.
Of course, you can give them the written directions, but that’s no fun, right? The best way for your partner to learn is by showing them. Teach them the basics of how to connect their toy to their phone, teach them how to change speeds, and vibration patterns.
Give them some time to play around with the toys and get a grasp of how to use it. Plus, it’s pretty sexy watching your partner get off with a sex toy. So it’s a real win-win.
Figure out what you both want
Since you’ve already had experience with interactive toys, you probably have a better idea of what you enjoy or what you’d like to try. But your partner is completely new to this. So, they probably don’t really know what they’d like.
Start off by looking at the type of penetration they’re interested in. Vaginal? Anal? Penile? From there, you can start to look at the options.
If you’re able to, buy a couple of different toys to test out and play with.
This isn’t a race, and what you think you’re partner may like isn’t always the case. Everyone has their own preference when it comes to the types of interactive sex toys.
Make a fun shopping date out of it
Shopping for sex toys shouldn’t be a scary thing. In fact, you two can make a really fun date out of it. If you’re shopping online together, go through the different toys, and see which ones are best for you.
Kiiroo couples sets are used for solo pleasure and couples, so it’s versatile and state-of-the-art in the adult toy world.
Look at the different styles and see which ones you and your partner take an interest in. Not everyone wants a realistic dildo, and this is when you two need to communicate your needs. By shopping together, you’ll get a chance to see what grabs your partner’s eye, and then you can narrow down your options.
Communicate while using the toy
So, you spoke to them about using interactive toys, and they agreed to give it a try. Great! But this is just a small piece of communication. When using the toys, you two need to talk.
Make sure to tell your partner they need to express themselves if they would like to change the speed or pressure.
One thing you need to remember is that you’re in control of their toy in real-time and vice versa. Since you’re controlling each other’s toys, you two really need to make sure you’re voicing your needs and expressing your feelings. They may be shy at first, so feel free to ask them how they’re feeling.
Talk about the experience after sex
You two were communicative during sex when using the interactive toy, but the communication cannot end there. After using the toys, talk about the experience with your partner.
What did they like? What didn’t they like? What do they want to try in the future? Were they sexually satisfied?
Really listen to what they say because their answers should be considered the next time you two use these toys. Maybe they want to give anal penetration a try with their toy. So, with that information, now you two having something new to try and explore.
When it comes to sex, everyone is different. Your partner may be curious about using an interactive sex toy, but hesitant to give it a try. And at this moment, you cannot force or push your partner to do something they’re not comfortable with.
Talk about bringing in a sex toy into the bedroom, listen to their concerns, show them how it works, and give them space to think things through. You’ll need some patience, and whatever they decide, you need to respect their decision.
The whole point of you introducing interactive sex toys into the relationship is because you want to have fun with your partner. So, don’t take your toys too seriously. Spend this time with your lover, exploring each other, feeling your lover, and experimenting with new positions.
But most importantly, make sure your toys are made of body-safe materials and check-in with your partner to ensure you’re both having a good time.
Introducing interactive sex toys to your partner shouldn’t be so stressful. Make the most of the experience and make sure to include your partner every step of the way.
Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer best known for her writings on Kiiroo, LovePanky, Post Pravda, and more. She's the creator and author of her short stories on TheLonelySerb. She completed her first degree in Criminology and continued and finished her Masters in Investigative Psychology, but then decided to follow her true passion of writing.