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How to have phone sex: The Ultimate Guide

What Is Phone Sex?

Maybe you’ve tried it before, and it didn’t go well. Or maybe you’ve never had dirty phone sex, and you don’t know how to start.
In the beginning, it’s normal to feel nervous and unsure of how to get freaky over the phone, but don’t be afraid. We all start from the same place, the beginning.
That’s why we’re here, to help you out and teach you how to talk dirty over the phone. Let’s get started!

We can’t move past this until you know the basics. Great phone sex starts with the understanding of what phone sex is.
Phone sex is when you’re on the phone with your partner, masturbating together while having dirty talk over the phone. You and your partner are playing out a sexual fantasy while pleasuring yourselves.

More and more couples in long distance relationships are turning to phone sex to increase intimacy while exploring a sexual fantasy with each other. Pretty romantic, right?

However, phone sex isn’t reserved only for long distance relationships; anybody can try it out as it’s a great way to spice up your relationship. But you don’t want to have just phone sex. You want to have good phone sex - and that’s where we come in.

How to have Mind-blowing Phone Sex

Good phone sex doesn’t happen overnight. Of course, it may feel awkward and a little uncomfortable in the beginning, but, like everything, it takes time to adjust.

Even a phone sex operator started where you are. So don’t be afraid, here’s how to talk dirty over the phone.

Get your partner’s consent

You and your partner should feel comfortable with the idea of having phone sex together. So, make sure you get their consent and see if they’re interested in trying phone sex out. Talk about it, get their opinion, and then make a decision together. A flirty text is one thing; phone sex is another.

Start before you get on the phone

Phone sex doesn’t start when you get on the phone. Well, it can, but you should buid up the suspense for phone sex. Send your partner a flirty text (or two) during the day, maybe even a naughty photo (if you trust them).

Remove any distractions

Is your laptop open? Is your phone on silent? Did you lock your door? You want to immerse yourself in the experience, which means you should eliminate any distractions. Give your partner your full attention.

Set the stage

Even though your partner isn’t in the same room as you, setting the stage is important. With dirty talk, the mood matter. So create the environment you need to feel comfortable and sexy. Setting the stage can include lighting a candle, wearing sexy lingerie, or putting on sensual music.

Don’t rush into phone sex

You don’t need to dive into dirty talk right away. Phone sex isn’t a race; it’s a journey, an experience you’re sharing with your partner. Start off easy, talk about your day, and then slowly start to change the subject, naturally becoming a little dirtier as the conversation goes on.

The more descriptive you are, the better

You want to get wordy - don’t be afraid to describe every detail of what you’re doing to yourself. The more words you use, the better your partner will be at visualizing your sexual fantasy and how you’re touching yourself. Remember, your genitals aren’t the only place that’s arousing, so give some love to your erogenous zones as well.

Add some toys into the mix

Sex toys can be a great addition to help arouse during phone sex. Plus, it’s something you can talk about with your partner. If you’re using Kiiroo’s Pearl2 G-spot vibrator, you can describe where you’re putting it, how it feels, etc. Oh, and sex toys help you reach orgasm, so it’s a win-win for everyone.

When you don’t know what to do, moan

This is a great rule of thumb and one you should always follow. You may run out of words to use or don’t know where to go, but that doesn’t mean you have to feel awkward and stop. Instead, start moaning. It’ll help you stay in the zone - not everyone is a wordsmith, and that’s okay.

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Beginner Tips from a Phone Sex Operator

When it comes to phone sex, who better to get advice from than a phone sex operator, you can’t get much better than that. Here are some beginner tips on how to get freaky over the phone.

Create a character for yourself

You can always be yourself, but to help you feel comfortable, you can always pick a persona and build a character, similar to role play.

Listen for subtle hints

Your partner may reveal their sexual desires during phone sex, but that’s if you’re paying attention to their hints. You’ll discover more about your partner than you expected.

Actively listen and be open-minded to your partner’s fantasies

During phone sex, your partner will tell you their fantasies, but that’s only if you’re accepting and open-minded about it. Let them use phone sex as a way to express their sexual fantasies.

Keep your voice natural

Stick with your natural voice. Yes, you may think changing your voice will help arouse your partner, but it won’t. Unless it’s role play, stick to your natural voice.

Use a template

If you don’t know any good phone sex lines (we’ll show you some later), use this simple and effective template. I love it when you ___ my ____. It’ll help you when you’re stuck on things to say during phone sex.

Don’t be afraid to laugh

You may get distracted or forget what you were going to say, but that’s a part of it. Don’t panic. Instead, laugh. Sex isn’t supposed to be super serious, so have fun with it.

What To Say During Phone Sex: 20 Hot Phrases to Use

Knowing how to talk dirty over the phone is one thing, but what are the things to say during phone sex? Describing what you’re doing is a great way to arouse your partner and help you stay present. But, if you need some inspiration, here are some good phone sex lines that you can use.

  • What are you wearing?
  • Mmm, that was so good.
  • Do you know what I think about when I touch myself?
  • I’m soaking wet.
  • What can I do for you?
  • I’m slowly moving my fingers under my panties.
  • I want to taste your ___ in my mouth.
  • You’re going to do exactly what I say. Do you understand?
  • I’m so horny. I wish you were inside me right now.
  • Do you like that?
  • I can feel how wet I am through my panties.
  • I’ve thought about this all day long.
  • I want you to cum for me.
  • I’m fantasizing about you doing ______ to me.
  • You’re going to cum when I tell you to.
  • I touch my ___, they feel ____.
  • You feel so good in my _____.
  • What does your ___ look like right now?
  • I feel you inside me, you feel _____.
  • What do you want to do to me?

Use these phrases as a base to help you expand off of. Remember to describe what you’re doing to yourself on the phone to your partner. Paint them a visual.

Phone Sex in the Age of Internet Porn

In the age of the Internet, the phone sex industry became confronted with the fact that it might become obsolete. After all, with (often free) Internet porn at the click of a button, and the infinite choice of online visual pleasure, it’s easy to assume that phone sex would become outdated in just a matter of time.

Many people consider phone sex to be old-fashioned in this rapidly developing, high-tech era. The phone sex industry has definitely drastically changed over the past 20 years, but to the surprise of many, it did not go belly up. In fact, phone sex hotlines managed to stay in business and continue to thrive and remain a flourishing multi-million dollar industry.

What’s the key to their success, and how did the phone sex industry manage to develop in the age of Internet porn?

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More visibility due to digital marketing strategies

Phone sex operators are no longer limited to the phone, but can also find clients online and incorporate online activities into their services. The Internet actually improved the phone sex industry, because clients can now browse through phone sex operator profiles in all kinds of different media and can use their smartphones to call directly from the websites and ads.

Phone sex operators today don’t just market themselves in magazines and on TV commercials anymore, but also promote themselves online through websites, blogs, vlogs, and social media. By investing in these platforms, phone sex operators can easily build a solid and loyal client base.

No Internet needed

On the other hand, sex hotlines also continue to do well because the Internet is not necessary for this service. This creates a bigger demand for phone sex because the millions of people who still live without everyday Internet access are able to call sex hotlines even though they can’t engage in the Internet sex industry. The same goes for people in areas with very slow our outdated connections and data infrastructure.

Anonymity

Just like Internet Porn, Phone Sex offers you a strong sense of anonymity. This is something that is still extremely important to people. The thought that you can be whoever you want to be and that the person on the other end of the line can’t see you, is liberating and comforting for many people.

After all, a lot of people still feel like paying for sex is a taboo, and are ashamed to be seen doing it. The beauty of phone sex is that you still feel connected to the person you’re talking to because you can hear their voice.

Antidote to overstimulation

A lot of people today suffer from overstimulation of the senses. The antidote to overstimulation of the senses? just the voice and the imagination.

With visual inputs coming at us from all around, every single day, it can be a relief to switch off the visual aspect for a while and just sink into the sexy sound of a total stranger’s voice, while letting your imagination do the rest.

The freedom to create your own images is fulfilling for people who, for example, have very specific sexual preferences and fantasies.

And adding an interactive element to what is basically erotic ASMR, beats listening to "raunchy" YouTube videos any day.

The price is right

Though prices for phone sex vary per company and per phone sex operator, the rates tend to be good. People usually pay a few cents a minute or pay for a specific block of time for a personalized one-on-one session.

You also have more costly services, but choices can be made to a listeners discretion. You can always google a service that fits what you are willing to spend.

One-on-one time with a real person

Phone sex is a great, and risk-free way, to have actual one-on-one time with a real sex worker. You can keep coming back to the same Phone Sex Operator and it will feel more interactive and personalized than watching classic porn.

Just Like Cam Performers, you can ask your favorite Phone Sex Operator if they are willing to use interactive toys and play with you over distance.

If you have a remarkable fetish, you might feel bashful confronting a partner or sex worker with it. But the sense of invisibility will allow you to dive deep into roleplaying and safely give a voice to your most sexual desires.

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Companionship and Sharing

Did you know Phone sex hotlines are not just used for sex?

In fact, many people call these hotlines because they just feel the need to talk to someone.

A lot of people find it easier to talk to a complete stranger than to those closest to them about their personal issues, and others simply don’t have anyone to talk to.

People who call phone sex operators for companionship would have a harder time sharing their stories if the person on the other line could actually see them. That’s why the phone is such a good medium: it provides safe distance as an emotional buffer, while still allowing for a personal touch.

Looking for something new yourself? Have a look at our products! We have products him, for her to enjoy with your favorite Phone Sex Operator and also products that couples can use to explore the wonders of Sex Tech together. Enjoy!

WRITTEN BY

Natasha Ivanovic

Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer best known for her writings on Kiiroo, LovePanky, Post Pravda, and more. She's the creator and author of her short stories on TheLonelySerb. She completed her first degree in Criminology and continued and finished her Masters in Investigative Psychology, but then decided to follow her true passion of writing.

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Mindy Cordova