Throughout the last two years, the pandemic has seen relationships go through a period of change. Dynamics shifted, sex lives (whether solo or coupled) ramped up and sex toy sales went through the roof. We’re finding intimacy and connecting in different ways.
This is a great indicator sex toy shame – or at the very least, embarrassment – is on its way out. In fact, the offering of sex toys has never been more innovative, inclusive and open-minded than now. And yet, so many cannot help but feel that sense of shame or guilt when getting pleasure from them.
Here, we explain why these outdated misconceptions have finally got to go (but it begins with some strict self love), as well as highlight some of the common concerns around self pleasure or coupled sex and playing with sex toys.
Self acceptance: It all begins with you
Whether you’re just beginning your journey and researching how to use sex toys or are an old hat with pleasure products, yours is a healthy and positive sex life. It’s a sad fact that too many people still feel ashamed they turn to sex toys to heat things up in the bedroom, and talking about it is often a big no. But here’s the thing: everyone else is doing it – so why the shame and secrecy?!
If you’re trying to navigate the world of sex toys – it can be pretty intimidating – start with owning your sexuality. Be sexually confident enough to know your body’s needs and not be afraid to explore your desires. Put aside all those insecurities.
Get over the guilt that comes with feeling like it’s a partner’s job – not an inanimate object’s job – to bring you to the big ‘O’. The real truth is playing with sex toys is proven to not only empower you in sexual relationships, but improve your confidence in every other area of your life too – many studies throughout the years have found as much.
Why toys don’t replace the need for a partner
Feelings of shame or embarrassment when it comes to our sex lives are very natural – and human – emotions, likely stemming back to the way we’ve brought up and our surrounding culture. But owning your sexuality and overcoming those feelings is the first step to enjoying a healthy and fulfilling sex life (whether you’re going it alone or in a relationship).
Trying sex toys may just be the answer here! Your body is your own to explore and get to know intimately. Sex toys help you learn about your preferences, likes and dislikes – and, ultimately, learn to respect your body a whole lot more. This is without fear, guilt or shame but, importantly, with guaranteed sexual confidence and orgasm!
And far from offending your partner at the mere mention of a plastic bedroom buddy, using toys in a relationship is a great way to bring partners closer and learn a lot more about each other. Where coupled sex is concerned, it’s understandable, but totally unfounded, that a partner should think sex toys could replace them.
Actually, quite the opposite is true – a sex toy is a tool to add to each other’s pleasure, enhance intimate moments and build on fantasies. A sex toy cannot replace our innate need for human touch or emotion, after all.
Increased arousal and more intimate connections
Nailed flying solo, owning your alone time and want to introduce your favorite toy to your partner? That’s great – playing with sex toys and discovering together is a great way to spice up your between-the-sheets time!
But don’t rush in. Sexual communication – taking the time to explain what your body needs and the type of toys you’re interested in – is vital here. Most importantly, how the experience can benefit you both should be openly talked about.
Whether you’re starting small with a simple vibrator from your bedside cabinet or experimenting with the touch-sensitive technology of a toy like OhMiBod®, sex toys are a tried-and-tested asset to a relationship.
Particularly for long-distance relationships, interactive sex toys mean you can feel your partner in real time no matter how far apart you are. And this is where sex toys come into their own, allowing you and your partner to have an element of control – and huge satisfaction – in the bedroom, or wherever the mood takes you!
Couple sets – have you seen our Hot Octopuss Solo Interactive and Ohmibud Lumen Couple Set?! – are designed to enable you both to feel synchronized sensations once connected to the FeelConnect app.
The benefits of trying sex toys are far, far reaching and begin with heightening your own self-esteem and confidence – and that’s a great thing. While the stigma around sex toy use is very slowly starting to fade away, we can do a lot more to ensure they get the credit they deserve, but it all begins with self love.