10 Household Items to Masturbate With

You’re a girl on a budget. But you still want to get off. Obviously. If you look around your house, it will surprise you how many items you can turn into homemade sex toys. Give yourself some sweet L.O.V.E. with these 10 household items to masturbate with.  

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A WORD OF CAUTION 
Hold your horses for just a second, girlfriend. Before you get it all up in there: please remember to be safe and sensible when using homemade sex toys. Make sure the item of your choice is properly cleaned. Preferably, use a condom on them as well before putting them into your body. Not everything is BODY SAFE. This can help prevent irritation on your lady parts. After all you never know the exact chemical compounds of plastic utensils. It’s also wise to stay away from items made of glass or wood or that might break or have sharp and pointy edges.

Now with that out of the way, let’s get to it!

 

ITEM 1: YOUR SMARTPHONE

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Candy Crush is not the only game you can play with your smartphone. The lovely thing about this item is that it can vibrate which makes it perfect to masturbate with. Just set a bunch of alarms to go off every minute for as long as you want- 15 minutes for example. Put your phone on your genitals, find your sweet spot and just let her ring!

ITEM 2: SHOWER HEAD

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Whether you’re more of a shower or a bath kind of gal, the shower head can get you wet in more than one way. Most shower heads come with a massage feature. In this position, the water comes out in a strong squirt. Aim the shower head on your clitoris and enjoy. Make sure not to spray the water directly into your vagina, though, as this can cause infections. If the shower head is attached to a long cord, you can incorporate that into your pleasuring session as well.

ITEM 3: VEGGIES

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A remarkable amount of fruits and vegetables resemble the shape of a phallus. Think banana, cucumber, carrot or eggplant for example. The most important thing is that the fruit or vegetable has a smooth surface. Clean it properly, put a condom on it and let’s make a tossed salad

ITEM 4: THE BEDPOST

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Forget about getting freaky in the bed. How about getting it on with the bed? Since this is usually where the magic happens, your mind will naturally associate the bed with a sexy place. Rub your genitals against that nicely rounded bedpost. Be sure to have some cloth in between you and the bed, such as clothes or sheets. Not only is this safer, but it will generate more friction.

ITEM 5: WASHING MACHINE

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If there’s one thing in your house that vibrates almost as hard as any vibrator, it’s your trusty washing machine. Turn on the machine and wait for her to really get spinning. Then rub your genitals against one of the edges. You’ll be done before your laundry is.

ITEM 6: ELECTRIC TOOTHBRUSH

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Out of all the objects on this list, the electric toothbrush probably comes closest to a vibrating dildo. You can go two ways with this one. The handle can be used to insert into your vagina. Masturbate with the soft, gentle brush to stimulate your clitoris. Since the brush heads are usually detachable, it’s probably not a good idea to use the brush side for insertion. You don’t want some loose toothbrush head hanging out in your pleasure cave. Talk about a mood killer.

ITEM 7: MAKE-UP ITEMS

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Some girls never leave the house without their makeup. And now you know why. Mascara and lipstick bottles can very easily be used to pleasure yourself with. Their size may be on the modest side, but hey, it’s all about how you use it, right?


ITEM 8: SCREWDRIVER HANDLE

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You don’t have to be a carpenter to own a simple screwdriver. And it can be used for more than one kind of screwing if you get my drift. Ba dum tss! But seriously though, the screwdriver handle is often made of soft, easy-grip material just like on regular sex toys. This makes the screwdriver handle a nice household object to masturbate with.  Often it is however very porous, so make sure to clean it before and after every use.

ITEM 9: PEN(S)

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Like penises, pens come in all shapes and sizes. You can use thicker ones or combine multiple pens to masturbate with if you’re feeling frisky. Since this is an item you will be able to find just about anywhere, it’s easy to make homemade sex toys out of them. Also when you’re staying over somewhere. No one will suspect a thing. Take out the ink cartridge if you can. Just to be safe.

ITEM 10: GAME CONTROLLER

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This one is for all the horny gaming girls out there. When you find yourself all alone playing video games on the couch, why not use that invitingly vibrating controller on yourself? As a gaming expert, you probably know what game/level/action will create the most vibration in the controller. Get to that sweet place and then bring the controller down to your labia and clit. Ding ding ding! High score!


Written by:

Lara Metman

Check out more of Lara’s work

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