Long-Distance Relationship Tips
Everything is easy when you live minutes away from your partner. But what happens when you’re in a long-distance relationship? Of course, you miss out on the regular and even mundane activities like laundry and grocery shopping.
But for people in a long-distance relationship, that’s the least of their concerns. One huge hurdle couples in long-distance relationships need to overcome is intimacy. How can you be intimate with your partner when they’re miles away?
Though many people assume long-distance relationships can’t work, we’d like to disagree. With a little bit of creativity and a helping hand from technology, distance means nothing.
If you’re in a long-distance relationship and you’re wondering how to keep the spark alive, we’re going to show you twenty long-distance foreplay ideas and tips you can use with your partner.
Why do relationships lack foreplay?
If you talk to many couples, most do not invest time in foreplay. Why? Firstly, people are shy to spend time with foreplay because they don’t know what to do. Most people use pornography as an educational tool, and it focuses very little on foreplay.
This leaves people asking themselves, “what do I do during foreplay?” And when you’re in a long-distance relationship, this can be even more of a challenge.
Secondly, foreplay gets overlooked because when you’re aroused, the last thing you want to do is take it slow. People pass over foreplay because they’re excited and they want to get to the “real thing.”
But, the benefit of being in a long-distance relationship is that foreplay becomes more of a focus since you’re not physically together.
Why Foreplay Matters in a Long Distance Relationship
As you know, long distance relationships aren’t like normal relationships. Sure, you get to see your partner, but not daily. And of course, this affects the relationship, which is why couples in long-distance relationships have to put in more work and effort to maintain connected and intimate.
Writing love letters can work to an extent, but there’s more to it than that - this is where foreplay comes in.
When two people in a relationship are apart, they miss a crucial component of the relationship: physical contact. Most of us underestimate and take advantage of the element of touch. But in relationships, physical touch is essential. Though people have different ways of expressing affection, touch is one of the most popular methods.
When you see your partner, you kiss, hug, or caress them. This form of non-verbal communication tells your partner that you care and are sexually attracted to them. But what happens when you’re miles apart?
The way you display love changes, and you lose the ability to show physical affection. With long-distance relationships, physical affection needs to be replaced with other forms of foreplay. Not only does foreplay work to show your partner affection, but it also works to warm things up between you too.
Think of the human body as a car. When you start a car, you don’t just turn on the engine and immediately begin driving. Instead, you turn on the ignition and give it a minute for the engine to warm up. This is exactly what foreplay does. It gives the body some time to become aroused. Whether you’re in front of your partner or miles away, you need to give yourself time to become sexually aroused.
As you can see, foreplay is a very important part of intimacy. But now the question is: how do you get started? We hear the word foreplay, but not all of us know what it means. But that’s also the beauty of foreplay; it can be whatever you like. Sex toys, oral sex, and role-playing are all activities used during foreplay. Don’t worry we got you covered right here. Here are twenty foreplay tips and ideas to use the next time you’re talking to your partner.
20 Foreplay Ideas and Tips for Long Distance Relationships
You know how to start foreplay with your partner, but we could all use a couple of extra tips. Here are twenty tips and ideas to use to help your foreplay reach a climax.
1. Talk about it
Before you do anything, it’s important to talk about foreplay and sex with your partner. You can’t read their mind and they can’t read yours. Of course, you can spend time virtually exploring each other’s bodies and discovering new sensations and pleasures, but you can also talk about it.
Talk with your partner and see what they want from sex. Don’t think of it as a serious conversation; it should be light and flowing. If you’re intimate with this person, you need to feel comfortable talking about things you like and dislike.
2. Set the mood
When it comes to foreplay, the atmosphere is important. If you’re Skyping or Facetiming at home, make sure your space is clean and feels fresh. Dim the lights, put some sensual music on and create a romantic and intimate environment for you and your partner.
Sure, you two are communicating with phones or computer screens, but that doesn’t mean you can’t set the mood. Setting the mood is all about seduction, and you want your partner hooked.
3. Use sexting as a warm-up
Sexting is a great way to warm things up with your partner. And since you’re not near your partner, it’s one of the only ways to get things heated. Many people use sexting as the main event as well, but that’s where they probably go wrong.
With sexting, it can easily get old, which is why you should use it as a warm-up. Throughout the day, send your partner some naughty texts to heat things up, and then save the main event for FaceTime or Skype.
4. Master the art of dirty talk
When it comes to intimacy, you want to arouse the mind. When you arouse the mind, then the other body parts will follow. People in a long-distance relationship don’t have a lot of options, but dirty talk is an excellent way to spice things up. If you’re having phone sex or in a chat room, tell your partner what you’d like to do to them or vice versa.
This isn’t something you’re going to master overnight. Dirty talking isn’t for everyone, so if you find yourself unable to talk dirty to your partner, don’t worry. Dirty talk isn’t fundamental for a successful long-distance relationship.
But if you’re good with words, then you should invest some time developing this skill. Dirty talk is describing what you would do to your partner and vice versa. You want to be descriptive so that your partner will have a beautiful visual of you in their mind.
5. Explore erogenous zones
Though you’re not able to explore your partner’s erogenous zones, it doesn’t mean you can’t explore your own. Since you’re probably speaking over Skype or FaceTime, it’s important to focus on visuals. While dirty talking or touching yourself, discover your erogenous zones.
You may find a body part that arouses you. Try rubbing your inner thigh or neck; suck on your thumb, or rub your breasts. While doing this look into the camera, and seduce your partner.
6. Mutual Masturbation
Since your partner isn’t here, you’re limited to sex positions and acts you can do. But this doesn’t mean you can’t achieve climax. Typically, during foreplay, oral sex would make its way into the equation, but not in this case.
Instead of oral sex, during foreplay, you can masturbate in front of your partner. Take this time to really enjoy the moment and build up sexual tension. Here you’re able to incorporate partner control games, letting your partner deny your orgasm and vice versa. By building up the tension, when it’s time to climax, it’ll be intense for both of you.
7. Be connected with remote-operated sex toys
When it comes to long-distance relationships, everything is to your advantage. Technology has advanced to the point where sex toys can be used for long-distance fun. The Onyx2 and Pearl2 couples set by Kiiroo helps bridge the gap between you and your partner. Both toys are designed for couples to feel each other and control speed and patterns when masturbating.
The beauty of these remote-operated sex toys is that they give you a lot of options. Whether it’s playing games, sex toys, orgasm denial, or mutual masturbation, you have different ways to sexually express yourself.
8. Don’t be afraid to build sexual tension
When it comes to sexual tension, you’re in a good position. You both can’t have what you want, which is basically the formula for sexual frustration. This is what you need to use to your advantage. In between your conversations, spend time practicing orgasm denial.
Don’t allow each other to orgasm until the next conversation. Then when it’s time for phone sex or a video chat, the tension will be so intense that once you get what you want, it’ll be mindblowing.
9. Schedule a date night
Long-distance relationships take much more work than regular ones. Since you two are apart, it’s easy to push back date night or forget to Skype when intended. But if you want your relationship to work, you need to create a schedule. It’s true, you’re not always in the mood, but you should always keep your date night. If not, it’ll become easier to skip them.
10. Be visually creative
Listen, you two are far apart, so there aren’t many alternatives you have when it comes to spicing things up. Most of your communication is either through a computer or a phone. This isn’t to say it’s impossible to keep the spark alive, but it does mean you’ll need to be creative.
Though most people opt for a classic nude photo in the bathroom, there are other ways to grab your partner’s attention. Whether it’s changing the lighting, sending a seductive video or changing location, it’s important to switch things up. It’ll keep your partner on their toes, wondering what the next picture will look like.
11. Go high tech for love
If this were five years ago, you’d be spending all your time with a frozen screen on Skype. But now, things have changed. Technology has improved immensely. Whatever it is; whether it’s Skype, FaceTime, Whatsapp, or Snapchat - spend time using technology for foreplay and intimacy.
12. Go old school
Maybe you want a break from sex toys or phone sex; sometimes you want to try something different. Instead of going high-tech, why not try using low tech? The original sext, love letters are another great way to build up to foreplay and intimacy.
You don’t need to send them by post, email works wonders and only takes a couple of seconds to receive. It gives you a break from your phone, and lets you set the mood in a different way.
13. Truth or dare
Who doesn’t like a naughty game of truth or dare? It’s a classic and can be a lot of fun for a long-distance situation. You can make your partner perform their dare on Skype, or FaceTime send pictures, etc. At the same time, you can learn a lot about your partner through this game. Your questions can start off innocent and work their way up to naughtier and sexier topics.
14. Mystery photos
In long-distance relationships, much of your communication is through photos. But what if you switched it up and sent them mystery photos that they needed to figure out. To make it spicy, the photos could be of specific places of your body. It’ll get their imagination working as they try to figure out what body part they’re looking at.
15. Never have I Ever
You may have played this in high school, but that was PG. Since you’re in a long-distance relationship, you can play the R-rated version of Never Have I Ever. While asking questions on Skype or FaceTime, ask your partner naughty questions. You can also send them photos of a specific act if you’ve done what they have never done. It’s spicy, but also a fun way to bring you two closer together.
16. Strip games
Just because you two aren’t sitting at the same poker-table, doesn’t mean you can’t play a naughty game of strip poker. Stripping games are a lot of fun and can be done over text or Skype. You don’t need to know how to play poker to play a stripping game. Other stripping games include asking your partner questions about yourself, and if they get an answer wrong, they strip. It’s a good way to see how well you two know each other while getting naked.
17. Choose an adventure for your partner
Though you aren’t able to go on an adventure with them, who says you can’t be a part of one? Not only will your partner get to experience something new, in a way, but you’ll also be with them through the entire journey.
Plan a day trip for them or a weekend getaway. They’ll send you pictures of where they are and will probably be surprised by what you have planned for them. Foreplay isn’t only sexual. Having fun with your partner is a huge turn-on as well.
If you’ve tried role-playing in-person, why don’t you give it a try on camera? You and your partner both choose characters, whether it’s someone from a movie or a specific profession. It doesn’t have to be serious or super sexy; it can be a combination of whatever you feel like. You can text or Skype in your character and have fun playing someone else.
19. Check-in after
You may not be able to cuddle with them right after, but you want to be in your partner's lives. After you’ve gone through foreplay, check-in with your partner, and see how they felt about the experience. There are probably things they liked more than others, and those are the activities you’ll want to focus on.
It’s important to take some time after intimacy to check in with your partner. Sex isn’t robotic; it’s emotional and individual. And when it’s happening online, it’s a different experience.
20. Practice self-care
You probably didn’t expect this one, but self-care is crucial in long-distance relationships. Of course, sexting, role-playing, and phone sex are fun activities, but they can also be intense and emotional. It’s not easy fulfilling someone’s sexual needs when they’re miles apart from you. Practice solo masturbation to help take the pressure off. Aside from it being fun, you’ll have some alone time to reconnect with yourself.
Long-distance relationships are challenging, but which relationship isn’t? All you need are the right tools. Try incorporating foreplay into your next naughty Skype session, and you won’t be disappointed.
Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer best known for her writings on Kiiroo, LovePanky, Post Pravda, and more. She's the creator and author of her short stories on TheLonelySerb. She completed her first degree in Criminology and continued and finished her Masters in Investigative Psychology, but then decided to follow her true passion of writing.