It’s pretty much common knowledge (and sense) by now that the sex depicted in pornography does not reflect the reality for most people in the bedroom, and this is to be expected.
Shot with actors, given a very specific script, and performed in a very contained space, pornography is to the real-world sex what the movies are in everyday life: Sure, it’s a good bit of fun, but we all know that things in real life require a bit more care and attention.
However, just as all good adult movies work through presenting relatable situations and providing valuable new insights, a good pornography can also be worth its weight in gold when it comes to sexual wisdom. Learn what to take away from your favorite porn and you may find yourself with an array of tools for enriching your own love life.
So, disclaimers aside, what can we learn from watching porn and, perhaps more importantly, what benefits can these moments of erotic education provide in our own sexual encounters?
If there’s one thing that can say about porn it’s that there truly is something out there for everyone. The actions, fetishes, and scenarios in porn are extremely varied and act as a fantastic showcase of our wonderfully varied kinks and proclivities. Because of this porn stars often find themselves in a huge variety of scenes doing things that reach across the full spectrum of sexual desire.
This willingness to try different scenarios is a great lesson to embrace your own love life.
Variety in the bedroom is actually considered to be one of the cornerstones of a solid relationship. According to Petra Zebroff, Ph.D., Sex Therapist and Relationship Counselor, “Research has found the more sexual variety we have, and the more open we are to new things, the more we feel sexual satisfaction.” You can’t argue with results.
Exploring a fetish or trying something new may seem daunting at first, but approach it like a porn star and you’ll soon be reaping the benefits.
Foreplay, communication, lubricant, sex toys, and safer sex practices. All of these are showcased in pornography to an increasing extent.
While there is definitely an artifice in pornography (reapplications of lubricant being one commonly edited-out element of a shoot, for example), a lot of the fundamentals for a considerate and enjoyable sexual encounter can be found in pornography.
This, it seems, is important as studies have shown that pornography that shows safer sex practices can actually promote safer sex practices in its audience, and you should definitely make up part of this statistic.
Embrace the focus on foreplay demonstrated in some scenes. If you like a particular sex toy then ask your partner if they’d be open to using it and exploring if it will work for them. And, of course, be vocal and clear about personal boundaries during every encounter. These are tips that are often easy to take in but potentially difficult to implement so allow porn to be your guide.
When the camera is on a porn star they command the shoot. All eyes are on them and they use their sexuality to empower themselves and arouse all those who watch, captivated by the sight.
There’s no denying that taking ownership of your own body and sexuality can be an incredibly exhilarating experience and porn stars are the masters of this and, with the help of porn, you can be too.
Take some time to treat one sexual encounter as if it’s a porn shoot and you’re the star of the show. Take the confidence that you’ve seen so often on screen and channel it in your own mind and mannerisms to become an assertive and empowered sex icon at the moment.
Sexual confidence tends to be connected to other forms of confidence and self-love so you’ll be helping yourself in multiple ways if you embrace this lesson from adult movies.
How are all of these benefits conveyed? Visually.
Pornography is, at its core, something to be seen and (as this article has shown) the visual potency of a good porn shoot can have a deeply beneficial impact in real life if given the right consideration, so why not take advantage of this yourself?
The next time your partner wants to know how to turn you on or what position works best, etc. don’t just tell them your preferences, show them. As vulnerable as displaying yourself may seem the benefits of a visual demonstration can sometimes convey more than words ever will. What’s more, the intimacy of the moment can help bring you closer together in ways you didn’t necessarily expect.
This is different to put on your own porn show, but the results are arguably much more profound in the long run.
Ultimately pornography’s main priorities are to entertain and arouse and this means that they should never be taken as truly reflective of real-life sexual experiences. Still, it’s undeniable that there’s a lot to love about porn when it comes to practical advice. So take what you can from adult movies and acknowledge the rest for what it is: a fantasy world (one that is well worth indulging in).