Getting into Oral Sex
Contrary to popular culture, not every woman enjoys receiving oral sex. Neither do some men. And if you’re one of them, know you’re not alone. Many people have a hard time relaxing and getting into oral sex.
But you still want to try it and because of past experiences you try to avoid it. However, there’s a high chance you need to make a couple of tweaks and experience it in a different way.
FIND THE RIGHT STIMULATION FOR YOU
When you read about cunnilingus, there are a couple of techniques that are recycled article after article. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it may not be what you need. Every woman is different when it comes to how to receive oral sex.
Some people don’t enjoy the feeling of clitoral stimulation via tongue, and that’s completely okay. You may be someone who prefers clitoral stimulation via a sex toy.
It’s your sex life, which means finding out what works for you. So, whether you have a male partner or a female partner, talk to them about performing oral sex techniques that are new—take this time to explore what gets you off.
FOCUS ON GETTING OUT OF YOUR HEAD
Sex, though physical, also has a huge mental component. If you’re too stuck in your head, you’re not going to enjoy the experience. You may be feeling anxious about having unprotected oral sex. Or worried about what your male partner or female partner is thinking about your body.
These thoughts are normal to have; take steps to overcome them. There are always solutions. For example, if you’re worried about having unprotected oral sex, buy protection such as a dental dam. If you’re self-conscious about what your partner thinks about your body, talk to them about it.
Also, I recommend taking some time to learn and explore your body through masturbation. Get yourself a sex toy, like Kiiroo’s Cliona Clit Stim Vibrator. Masturbation can help improve your self-image and self-esteem (and also give you an orgasm).
IDENTIFY YOUR UNDERLYING INTIMACY ISSUE
Now, you may not have an intimacy issue. It could just be that you’re nervous about letting someone go down there, and that’s totally understandable. However, some people see oral sex as more intimate than penetrative sex, which brings up underlying feelings about intimacy.
If you’ve had an uncomfortable experience in your past, explore them, seeing what’s preventing you from moving forward. Your sex life is in your hands, so be honest with yourself.
MASTURBATE, MASTURBATE, MASTURBATE
I’m not saying this without reason. The best way to get into oral sex is by masturbating and figuring out what turns you on. Are you someone who prefers clitoral stimulation, or do you enjoy anal stimulation?
Everyone likes different things, and while you can explore a new sex position with your partner, you can also do it on your own. This may work better for you as you’ll have the privacy and space to explore a sex act without pressure. Whether it’s with your hands or Kiiroo’s G-spot vibrator, or men’s stroker, masturbate.
SET THE VIBE
Setting the atmosphere isn’t so much for your partner, it’s more for you. Whether you want to receive oral sex, either blow jobs or cunnilingus, you want to be in the right mood.
Whatever it is that helps you relax, do it. Put on some music, light some candles, spend time in foreplay and slowly ease into it. Your partner shouldn’t jump into oral sex right away; it’s something that should be worked towards to.
FOCUS ON THE GOOD FEELINGS
Whether your masturbating or your partner’s performing oral sex, you’re going to have some hits and misses. It’s just a part of the learning experience until you and your partner learn about your body, what turns you on and what sex position hits the spot.
Instead of thinking about if you’ll orgasm or not, focus on what feels good. Use your moans to tell your partner what you like. When they see you positively responding, they’ll stick to what they’re doing. If not, they’ll switch it up.
UNDERSTAND IT TAKES PRACTICE
Getting into oral sex isn’t going to happen overnight. Yes, you may have had a bad experience, but that doesn’t mean the next time will be like that. It’ll take time and practice for you to learn what works and what doesn’t. Neither giving head nor eating pussy are as easy as they sound, so be patient. You’ll get there in time.
SCARED OF STDS?
Your sexual health is important. And if your fear of sexually transmitted diseases is stopping you from experiencing cunnilingus, it’s time we changed that. Yes, sexually transmitted diseases exist in all forms of sexual intercourse, but there are ways to stay safe.
With eating pussy, have your partner wear a dental dam. With giving head (blow jobs), you can use a condom or flavored condom. You have options to make sure you practice safe sexual intercourse.
Oral sex is an intimate and fun sex act that can help you explore your sexuality and what turns you on. Use these tips with positions to help you get into oral sex, and you’ll be on the path to pleasure.
If there’s one way to work your way up to an orgasm, it’s through oral sex. After a long day at work, nothing beats coming home and having your partner surprise you with some down-under attention.
And trust me, a little attention can go a long way. For vulva owners, in a 2017 study in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, almost 75% of women said they needed external clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm.
But before we give you some orgasmic oral sex positions to try out, it’s important to know what oral sex is. Oral sex usually involves the mouth, lips, or tongue to stimulate the penis, vagina, or anus of your sexual partner.
Now, you may know what oral sex is but under a different name. Oral sex on a man is known as fellatio, blowjob, or giving head. For women receiving oral sex, it’s known as cunnilingus, eating pussy, and licking.
But knowing what oral sex is one thing. What’s essential is how to perform oral sex. So, we’re going to show you some of the best oral sex positions to try out with your partner around the house.
Oral Sex Positions
These positions won’t necessarily work for everyone. Use discretion when trying out positions and choosing the right place for them. More importantly, choose positions you feel comfortable with.
1. Legs Up
Cunnilingus, when done right, is highly pleasurable. However, you can add some extra stimulation with this position. When the receiving partner is lying on their back, they can hold both legs into the air.
While doing this, the giver can go to town with this oral sex position. For an extra touch, the receiver can massage their partner’s booty at the same time.
Well, if you’re looking to share the fun between you and your partner, sixty-nine is the position that keeps on giving. Both partners will perform oral sex on each other. You can perform fellatio or cunnilingus while in the 69 position.
You’ll need some space for this one, so the kitchen floor is the perfect spot to have some fun while your pasta is cooking. But one thing to know, this position can be hard for some people as you need to give and receive at the same time. Talk about a challenge!
Now you know of the 69 position, do you know about the spooning position? You and your partner lie on your side, positioning your face in front of your partner’s genital and vice versa.
This position is for both the penis and vagina; however, the person with the vagina should position themselves first. It may take some time to find the right angle, but once you do, it’ll be jaw-droppingly satisfying.
4. A Little bit of This, A Little bit of That
If rimming is on the menu (and we hope there is!), this little position will give the receiver intense pleasure. For the giver, this position allows full access to the receiver’s vulva and anus.
The receiver is on their back, rolled up into a ball, while the giver is lying on their stomach in front of their partner’s genitals. Once you have the position down, their genitals are all yours.
You’ve probably heard people talking about face sitting on social media, but have you ever tried it? Both partners can be a receiver in the face sitting position, regardless if they have a penis or vagina.
The giving partner is lying down on their back, while the receiving partner lower’s their genitals over their partner’s face, essentially sitting on their face. You can do this position almost anywhere in your house, whether it’s your couch, kitchen table, or living room floor.
6. The One Leg Up
Interestingly, many vulva owners find they’re more sensitive on one side of their clitoris. This is something to keep in mind when testing out oral positions for women. For this position, the receiver lies on the bed or couch with one leg in the air while the giver kneels on the floor. Remember, the leg that's raised should be on the most sensitive side.
7. Kneeling Giver
If you’re interested in experimenting with power dynamics, this is a fantastic position to try out. The receiver sits on a chair while the giver kneels on the floor. This position is great if you’re looking to get naughty in the dining room or your office during your lunch break.
8. Doggy Style
So, oral sex isn’t just about the vagina and penis—don’t forget about the anus! Giving head is extremely satisfying, but adding a little rim job to the mix can spice things up. The giver can experiment with 'Analingus' while simultaneously stimulating the receiver’s clitoris. Just make sure your partner knows you’re going to perform analingus beforehand—it’s not everyone’s cup of tea.
If it’s your first time to receive oral sex, this is the perfect beginner’s position. The receiving partner gets to lean up against a wall while the giver kneels on the ground while licking or sucking their partner’s genital.
You can do this while leaning against the shower wall, or any wall in your house—that leaves you a lot of places to do this position. You can also use a sex toy with this position and see what happens.
10. Seated Head
If you’re looking for an easy position— if you’re a beginner or want to keep things simple— this position is something you should try. You can do this on a chair, on the kitchen counter, on the edge of your bed, or laundry machine. Basically, the receiving partner will be seated on the chair while the giving, kneels to perform a blowjob or cunnilingus.
11. Legs Wide Shut
Many of these positions have the receiver’s legs wide open, but you can be equally stimulated with your legs shut. For receivers who don’t want direct clitoral stimulation right away, this is one of the best oral sex positions for women as it warms up the area. Vulva owners lie flat on their back with their legs closed. The giver, man or woman, licks the labia to stimulate the area.
12. Upside-Down Head
You’ll want to do this position on the edge of a bed or counter, as the giving partner needs their head to be tilted back. The giving partner lays on their back with their head over the edge.
The giving partner then angles themselves over their partner’s head to receive oral sex. This is one of the best oral sex positions and can be done with a partner with either penis or vagina.
If you’re looking for oral sex positions, definitely give these positions a try. And if you want to take it a step further, incorporate a sex toy into the mix. Take this time to experiment and explore each other’s bodies.
Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer best known for her writings on Kiiroo, LovePanky, Post Pravda, and more. She's the creator and author of her short stories on TheLonelySerb. She completed her first degree in Criminology and continued and finished her Masters in Investigative Psychology, but then decided to follow her true passion of writing.