The Benefits of Being Single
If you’re without a partner at the moment, you might not be aware of the many benefits of being single. Being single is awesome!
And now, us singles even have Singles Day: our own holiday to celebrate singledom. On November 11th single guys and gals around the world honor the fact that they are not in a relationship.
When you’re single, chances are that you feel kind of left out during the major holidays. Annoying couple friends getting all mushy underneath the mistletoe come to mind. Not to mention the torture of yet another Valentine's day just by yourself.
But on Singles Day it’s our time to shine. And to actually celebrate the many benefits of being single. Because although the romantic comedies might have you believing otherwise, being on your own actually comes with a large number of advantages.
Though our society likes to match up people faster than you can say Uno! singlehood shouldn’t be something you want to run away from.
It’s time you started living your best life, and you don’t need someone beside you to do it. So, it’s time you learned about everything that makes the single life the best life.
Watch: Living the SIngle Life and Single's Day
FREE TO PLAY THE FIELD
Open relationships are becoming more common these days, but the majority of relationships are based upon monogamy. And monogamy means you gotta keep it in your pants when you see a fine PYT walking down the street.
But not when you’re single, though! No relationship means you can flirt and tease to your heart’s desire without feeling guilty. Perfect for all you Casanova’s and Femme Fatales out there!
Being single by no means implicates suffering from dry spells. You don’t need a partner to experience great sexual pleasure. We live in a day and age where there are so many options when it comes to amazing sex toys that can give you climaxes beyond your wildest dreams.
So this Singles Day, treat yourself to a tantalizing new toy, such as the OhMiBod Fuse or the TITAN by KIIROO. Playing it solo means you get to focus on you, yourself, and you. No need to return any sexual favors. After you’ve just had the best orgasm of your life, you can just go to sleep and be done with it.
THE WHOLE BED TO YOURSELF
What’s the one thing you hear all the couples complain about? Exactly: the many discomforts of sharing a bed! Of course, the idea of falling asleep and cuddling in your lover's arms sounds super romantic. In reality, though, it’s often a lot of kicking and pushing, snoring and stealing of blankets. Yikes!
As a single person, you’re way better off! You get to have that whole big-ass bed all to yourself. You can even lie down flat on your belly starfish-style and no one will complain. Enjoy your good nights of restful sleep!
MORE TIME FOR THE HOMIES
It’s a tale as old as time. You and your BFF are inseparable. But once either one of you get involved in a long-term relationship, you suddenly see a lot less of each other.
It makes sense since a romantic relationship consumes a lot of your time and energy. But this may cause some of your most important friendships to collapse.
Luckily, if your single, you have plenty of time to spend with your besties. While all your boring couple friends are at home watching tv, you’re living it up with your buddies.
When you’re single, you are more likely to have a tight-knit group of friends and family. Plus, single people more often get support from their network when they’re in need of a little help. Who said you need a partner when you have a whole bunch of awesome friends?
DOING WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT
Ever been on a weekend getaway trip with your less-than-perfect in-laws? Or were you ever forced to attend another super boring office Christmas party for your partners work?
Those problems do not exist in the wonderous, liberating world of single people. When you’re single, you can basically do whatever the hell you want in your free time! You don’t have to take the wants and needs of another person into account.
That means that if you want to spend your weekend lying on the couch naked watching Gossip Girl for 9 hours straight, guess what? You can! There’s literally no one to tell you that you can’t.
And there’s also no one forcing you to watch that new Marvel movie (which you already know will be terrible). Being single doesn’t just mean sexual freedom, but also freedom of how you want to spend your time in general.
BETTER PHYSICAL HEALTH
One of the surprising benefits of being single is that it’s actually good for your overall health. Studies show time and time again that when people get into a relationship, they tend to gain weight.
This has to do with the fact that couples often eat out together and watch tv on the couch a lot. Studies have also shown that single folks are more likely to go to the gym on a regular basis.
Being in a committed relationship with another person takes up a lot of your time and energy. When you’re single, you have more time to focus on taking good care of yourself by cooking healthy meals, going to the gym and working on your personal goals.
Time is precious. Especially when you are in a relationship. If personal space seems too much to ask from your partner, it could be a reason to start triggering alarm bells. Two of my relationships have ended badly because personal space became very pretty much non-existent.
There’s being joined at the hip, and then there’s taking it too far. If your partner is insistent to spend time with you to the point where you feel uncomfortable, it’s time to embrace the single life
ARGUMENTS ALL WEEK
Yes, that’s right. Nine arguments a week means more than once a day, twice on two special days of the week. (We’re betting one of those days might be Monday though, probably in the morning.) Jokes aside, arguing all the time in a relationship is tiring, time-consuming and miserable. Nobody wants to come home from a long day of work to a night of name-calling or unnecessary squabbling.
HOLIDAYS I DIDN’T GO ON
It goes without saying that every relationship means making sacrifices. In my time, I passed up on the chance to go away with my girls because I had already made plans with my (then) boyfriend, or I knew he wouldn’t be comfortable with me wearing an “I’M HORNY” t-shirt and necking jager bombs in Ibiza.
The scary thing about relationships sometimes is that we can feel so absorbed in them, that we forget about the other important things in life. The truth is, you might never remember your boyfriend/girlfriend from 2014, but your friends will never let you forget the holiday that you missed out on because of them.
NIGHTS OF BAD SEX
7 nights of bad sex means bad sex every night of the week. It’s awkward. It’s embarrassing. It’s anxiety-inducing, and it’s sometimes even painful. I don’t want to label anyone as ‘bad,’ in bed, but communication in the bedroom goes a long, long way. But sometimes it’s not enough.
Perhaps the chemistry isn’t there. Perhaps you’re into BDSM and roleplay, and he’s just not that way inclined. Maybe you want him to talk dirty. Maybe he’s tired of doggy-style. Whatever it is that’s pulling you apart in the bedroom, something needs to change. If the sex isn’t there, the relationship never will be.
APPALLING DATE NIGHTS
How bad was your worst ever date been? Has it ever been with an actual boyfriend? Mine has. Every time me and my ex went away, we could never decide on anything to do. It became very clear that we were very different people, with opposite wants, interests, and needs.
Even when we managed to settle on something more mutual, which was often something involving alcohol, I couldn’t help but notice things were going very stale. If you find yourself more interested in your lasagne or a pint than your actual partner on a regular basis, maybe it’s just not for you?
I try not to judge people, but obviously, I did use to judge my boyfriend’s taste of clothes on the sly. (I’m only human.) I noticed that when the time was up on our relationship, I had formed a sort of self-loathing for his awful hat collection. There was absolutely no need for it.
Every time he put one on, I couldn’t help but feel that he looked ridiculous. Now, I’m not warning anybody away from wearing hats. But if you’re on the rocks with your partner and everything they do or wear or say is starting to piss you off, it’s not healthy to harbor such negativity. Nor is it fair on them. (There might be someone out there that will love his hats!) Call it quits for heaven’s sake! Move on.
If your relationship is more up-and-down than a trampoline park and you’ve already called it quits a hundred times before, it’s probably not the most secure or stable relationship.
It’s not healthy to be in a relationship that is a constant state of flux. You want to be able to rely on your partner. Forever is a long, long time. If you’ve already broken up 6 times in 8 months, is it really a relationship?
Your mates are probably bored of hearing about your constant close-calls too. Maybe just do everyone a favor, including yourself, and make it for real next time?
If you often find yourself wishing there was a ‘way-out’ of your relationship, you are not alone. Thousands of people find themselves in situations where they feel like leaving their partner isn’t possible. Perhaps you're sharing an apartment or you feel unable to break apart from them emotionally.
My last relationship was one of the hardest break-ups I ever had because we were so embedded in each other’s lives. We were in the same friend groups and we had studied at university together.
The simple truth is that you don’t have to stay with anybody – you don’t owe anyone a relationship! Don’t just wish of a way to leave your partner, if you feel so strongly- just go! Happier times are waiting, embrace National Singles Day as a way of life!
Do you even see your partner? Do you ever just think your relationship is a bit pointless? Many relationships don't work because they get to see each other as often. Or they both are into doing different things.
Having separate lives and priorities can create a divided and unfair relationship. If you don't put effort for each other, then this relationship isn't for you.
IS THE LONELIEST NUMBER THAT YOU’LL EVER DO
As the famous song goes, one is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do butttttttttt - two is just as bad as one. And it’s because you shouldn’t feel alone in your relationship. If your partner shirks all the responsibilities and makes you feel like you might as well just be single anyway, it could be time to just actually BE single.
YOU LEARN TO LOVE HANGING OUT WITH YOURSELF
Many people can’t stand being alone with themselves for longer than a minute. But if you’re single, you come to love spending time with yourself.
This doesn’t mean you don’t get lonely; even people in relationships experience loneliness. But you’re able to enjoy your own company without seeking entertainment from others.
And that’s something to admire, especially in today’s world where we can’t let go of our phones.
YOU HAVE TIME TO GET TO KNOW YOU
I hear this from people in relationships all the time. They tell me, “I don’t know who I am anymore.” That’s assuming they knew who they were before being in a relationship.
Many of us jump into relationships without answering the biggest question of our lives, “who am I?”
Instead, we search for ourselves in other people, in our partners, and skip the entire process of self-discovery. But when you’re single, you’re forced to answer this question.
YOU HAVE THE FREEDOM TO SEXUALLY EXPLORE
Of course, you can sexually explore yourself when you’re in a relationship; that’s if your partner is comfortable with you doing so. If you want to have a threesome and your partner says they don’t want to, you need to respect that.
But, when you’re single, the world is your sexual oyster. Want to join a sex party? Go ahead! Don’t feel like having sex? Take a break!
Want to masturbate with your Kiiroo vibrator for the entire day? No one is stopping you!
YOU’RE MORE WILLING TO GO WITH THE FLOW
The single life follows no schedule; you create your own. If things pop up unexpectedly, you’re able to roll with the punches.
Why? Because you’re more self-sufficient.
You don’t have a partner to rely on. You don’t need to ask to do something out of respect. You take the risks you want to take, you follow the path that interests you.
YOU CAN DECIDE WHAT YOU WANT FOR YOURSELF
When you’re single, you have more time to think about yourself. No, it’s not selfish; it’s something you should do. You have the time to ask yourself important questions.
What do you want out of your life? What are your goals?
As a single person, you’re able to explore your dreams and passions. Figuring out who you are and what you want out of your life without worrying about someone else.
YOU PUT YOURSELF FIRST
In any relationship, it's not just you anymore. Yes, you think about yourself, but you also need to keep your partner's needs in mind.
And sometimes, you and your partner's needs don't line up as well as you hoped. When you're single, you're the only person you can give yourself the attention you need.
You have time to focus on your friends, family, and hobbies. People in relationships tend to push aside the things they enjoy to spend more time with their partners.
YOU CREATE YOUR OWN CONFIDENCE
Maybe you've seen people post a photo of their partner on Instagram with a similar caption, "I found you, and then I found myself." There's nothing wrong with being in a relationship with someone who makes you feel good.
That's the sign of a healthy relationship. But you know what's better? Loving yourself first without being in a relationship. Being single gives you confidence that's self-earned. Someone didn't swoop you off your feet; you saw the beauty and strength within yourself on your own.
It’s easy to view singlehood as an unfulfilled part of your life, but that’s because you’re choosing not to embrace it. Stop listening to the people around you and make the most of your life whether you’re single or not. Whatever relationship status is, live your best life because as cheesy as it is, you only have one.
Discover more of Lara's work
What is Singles Day?
Why I chose to be Single
Top 10 Cities to be Single