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The Awkward Realities of Shower Sex

The Truth About Having Sex in the Shower

Never have I ever felt more deceived by Rom-Coms or pornos as I did the first time I had shower sex. Overrated, is an understatement. I spent most of the slippery experience holding onto the edge of the tub for dear life – trying not to injure myself or my partner.

About 4 minutes in to what I could only call nightmare conditions. With a full face of makeup and lashes, I caught a glimpse of us in the mirror. Of course, for the duration of the experience.

I was then distracted by the spectacle of us attempting hot shower sex rather than the sensations of the sex itself. Not to mention the unknowing exposure of his sex face, of which I now can't unsee.

I didn’t fully understand the phrase out of body experience until I accidentally watched myself having shower sex.

But despite my awkward personal experience, steamy shower sex remains part of our collective fantasies. What’s sexier than lathering up your partner’s chest in soap or seamlessly being held against the shower wall? Or making out under the water feeling the heat drip all over your wet bodies?

Who cares if you both don’t fit under the showerhead and one of you is freezing cold? Or that the anxiety of slipping and causing serious bodily harm is clouding the pleasure of the entire encounter? Shower sex is still sexy, right? RIGHT?!

Maybe this is just in my experience, which I doubt. But no matter how much time I spend daydreaming about glorious shower sex… in reality, it’s anything but that. If I’m not trying to dodge the water from ruining my freshly straightened hair, then I am baffled as to why the natural lubrication of my vagina seems to get washed away.

Along with sex on the beach, in the car and swimming pool sex, shower sex has been banished to the Island of Awkward. In theory, they’re so hot but in reality, they are awkward and uncomfortable.

Despite all of this, deep down in my soul, I know shower sex has the potential to be the sexy, glorious vision I so badly want it to be. So in my attempts to keep my sex life hot during a global pandemic, I polled 100 people on Instagram to pick up all the tricks and tips to rinse the awkwardness away from shower play.

Here are the most common dislikes paired with a solution:

1. I feel less lubricated in the shower

For sure this is one I can relate to and has put me off having shower sex for years! Penetration can feel really dry and raw, which takes away from the pleasure. Luckily, there’s a solution for this one…

Try out a silicone based lube. It lasts longer than water-based options and feels like silk sheets on your sensitive parts. Bare in mind that you’ll need to reapply more often than you would in a dry environment, like a bed. They’re also safe to use with condoms!

The downsides? Ok, so there are a couple. First, silicone based lubes can deteriorate the surface of silicone sex toys. When this happens, you could get abrasions in your sex toy which gives space for bacteria to grow. A big no no.

Secondly, this stuff is super slippery! Avoid spilling to avoid slipping…

Top tip: keep a bottle among your toiletries in the bathroom so you’re prepared for when things get a little heated.

2. It’s cold for the person not stood directly under the water

It sounds silly doesn’t it? But unless you have a big fancy walk-in wet room with a showerhead big enough for 2 (or more), this is likely to be an obstacle for shower sex.

Crank up that heating, baby! Yup, we’ve all had the experience of being in a nice warm shower. Bracing ourselves for the freezing breeze of air that awaits once the tap is turned off. Naturally, when there’s more than one person in the shower, being confronted with the cold becomes much more likely.

If that isn’t good enough, maybe look into getting one of these.

Top Tip: Blast that heating to ensure the bathroom is nice and cozy, for all involved.

3. I get too scared of slipping!

Ok, so this was a common concern.

Buy a non-slip mat or bath mat. A simple solution to help create some grip on the surface you stand on and minimize any anxiety around causing an accident or just plain embarrassing yourself!

4. The space is too cramped!

If either of these reasons is what puts you off playing around with your partner in the shower then this is my suggestion.

Set a sexy scene!

There’s not usually a lot of space to get down in a bathroom, so maximize the space you do have. Make sure all the random bottles are out of the way, towels are picked up etc. I’d also recommend lighting a candle that’s a safe distance away, and playing your favorite sex playlist.

5. What positions should I do?!

Here’s a list of shower sex positions, of different levels, for you to try out:

  • Beginner: Standing up Doggy
    This is a classic. With both feet on the ground, place your hands against the shower wall. Lean forward slightly to allow your partner to enter from behind. This is a great one if you’re nervous, or new to shower sex. Because there’s security against your wall and against your partner.
  • Beginner: The Wrap Around
    An alternative standing sex position. Place your back against the shower cubicle/wall with your partner stood facing you. Lift one leg, wrapping it round your partner’s waist. They can hold your leg up for support and use their other hand to support you further around your waist.
  • Advanced: The Love Seat
    So for this one, you’ll need a bath seat if you don’t already. Have your partner sit as you lower yourself onto them. You can switch it up by facing away or each other. Or even use it for extra comfort during oral sex. But whatever you do, please don’t try this on something less sturdy like the side of a bath for example, just trust me.
  • Super advanced: Wet Wheelbarrow
    Ok so, admittedly, a bit of a challenge but hear me out. Guaranteed, you will need a non-slip matt for this position.
    Put simply, it’s the traditional wheelbarrow where you’re in a makeshift handstand. In which your partner is holding you up by the waist – I told you the mat was important! This angle guarantees the deepest penetration. The arm workout is just a plus.

So there we have it, a comprehensive breakdown of shower myths and suggestions of how to overcome them! My final note, and probably the most important, would be don’t stress! The most important elements of sex should be the pleasure and comfort for everyone involved so if it’s not for you, it’s not for you.

If after reading this, you’re not feeling inspired to give shower sex another go, why not start the sex in the shower for foreplay? That way you’re both clean and stimulated before getting down to business...

Also remember, shower sex doesn’t have to be enjoyed with a partner – solo sex in the shower is way easier logistically and it’s just as important to spice up your masturbation habits, too!

Written by

Katriana Ciccotto

Self-proclaimed proud slut, Katriana enjoys writing about all things female pleasure and stigma smashing. She is currently studying to become a sex educator.

Check out her Instagram page: _kbella_