Sex Toys & Intimacy: Getting Closer With Sex Tech
This July and August Kiiroo will be running a series of Guest Blogs written by prominent #Sex #Sexuality and #SexTech
In this second installment, we feature Emmeline Peaches’ take on Sex Tech’s role in Intimacy.All opinions expressed are solely those of the author and may or may not reflect Kiiroo’s vision and moral stance.
Intimacy is a big part of most people’s relationship. To be close both physically and emotionally is something that a lot of couples aspire to and seek to maintain once they’ve achieved it. However, for some people the dreaded elephant in the room, the spanner in the works are, yeah, you called it, sex toys *cue shocked gasps*
Let me start by saying I totally understand why some people may be turned off by sex toys. One of the more pervasive sex myths out there is the notion that sex toys tear couples apart, but that’s exactly what it is—a myth.
At the root of this social construct seems to be insecurity and fear; namely the fear that sex toys will replace a person in their partner’s eyes. However what this misconception fails to understand is that sex toys are, first and foremost tools.
Sex toys come in all shapes and sizes and all of them are enablers. A sex toy is nothing more than an inanimate object made with the purpose of enhancing an experience. True, some sex toys can do things that a person cannot, but that’s the point of them. When a person takes a sex toy into their hands they’re not grasping for a replacement but, instead, reaching for an enhancer that will allow them to explore new sensations.
With these sensations comes a chance for more intimacy.
Sex toys and intimacy might not seem like an obvious combination at first, but look a little closer and suddenly things become clearer.
If a couple starts a discussion about sex toys then they’re already opening up to each other on a whole new level. To talk about objects of pleasure is to ultimately talk about what you find pleasurable. A discussion about sex toys can easily become a discussion about preferences and, in turn, can bring people closer together. If you haven’t tried it with your partner/s before then I certainly suggest you try it at some point.
While you’re at it why not go shopping for some toys together too? Whether it’s online or in a brick-and-mortar store coming together to pick out your ideal line-up of sex toys can be an incredibly arousing and extremely reaffirming experience. The excitement of the experience, in this case, comes not just from the toys itself but from the bonding that happens during the experience (plus it can make for an arousing prelude to the main event).
Every sex toy is different, too (trust me, I’ve reviewed enough of them to know) and with variation comes a great opportunity for exploration. You and your partner may know each other’s bodies fantastically but add a sex toy and suddenly there’s a rogue element. Even if you and your partner know each other’s bodies back to front discovering a new sex toy means determining new preferences or trying to tune in to pre-existing ones. It’s another great chance to open up a dialogue, or even to give a visual lesson to your partner on your pleasure zones. Such actions are great for encouraging communication and the growth of a relationship if handled appropriately.
Then there’s Kiiroo.
There’s no doubt that people in LDRs share an incredible bond, but not being able to be with each other in person can be incredibly disheartening. It’s a struggle, even if it’s totally worth it. But add teledildonics into the mix and suddenly another channel for intimacy opens up. The real-time capabilities of Kiiroo’s sex toys means that you can transfer or (in the case of the Onyx) feel the touch of your lover through your device of choice.
Kiiroo cannot replicate the intimacy of skin-on-skin but it does provide a whole new way to connect. Through Kiiroo’s sex toys a new type of intimacy can be developed (one that can bridge the gap for some, add some spice for others, and much more). Meanwhile, Kiiroo’s chat room platform makes sure that you maintain communication throughout your sexual exploration and keeps you connected to the one you care about. After all, that’s what it’s all about.
For me, the work of the Kiiroo team is a perfect example of how sex toys encourage intimacy rather than diminish it, but let’s give sex toys a break in general, okay? At the end of the day, sex toys are a fantastic way of building intimacy and opening a dialogue between couples, all while providing pleasure. For that, they should definitely be celebrated instead of rejected.
About Emmeline Peaches
Emmeline Peaches is a queer female who loves to write about sex and review adult products.
Her early sexual experiences led to the discovery that she was suffering from Vaginismus.
Undeterred, Emmeline took to her local sex store and started informing herself about the wonderful world of adult products. With time, determination, and a bullet vibe, Emmeline eventually managed to overcome her condition and gained an unyielding love for sex toys in the process.
As a result, Emmeline founded Emmeline Peaches Reviews—an informative adult review site where people can go to read honest and extensive reviews. You can check her out here: