Setting the Mood - For a sexy time

How to Set the Mood whether you are near or far away from each other

Just to set the mood, girl
I bought some Marvin Gaye and Chardonnay…”
-Big Sean

When the time is right for you and your partner to engage in some intimate time together you have got to set the proper mood. Some people like the lights turned off, some like a good slow ballad playing in the background. Some of us like to watch a little porn to get us in the right frame of mind.

For others, a gentle bath eases our minds and body, it gets us ready for what’s to come. There are even those of us who enjoy a pre-love making “me-party” before joining their partners.

No matter what gets you in the mood one thing is clear. In order to set the proper mood for romance, you have got to be in the right frame of mind. So how do we set the right frame of mind? What are some of the ways we can get ourselves ready for lovemaking? Here are our favorite preparations that have successfully set the right mood whether we’re together or miles apart.

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Bath or Shower

If you are away from your partner and want to relax before some intimate FaceTime, what better way to do it than with a nice warm shower or bath? Warm water has always been a terrific way to relax your muscles and put your mind at ease.

This might provide a fun way for you and your partner to get off or it might be a fun and challenging way to tease each other.

It doesn’t matter if you choose to shower before or during your meetup, the warmth of a good shower or bath will definitely put you in a good frame of mind.

Put on Something Sexy

The definition of what you think is sexy is completely up to you and your partner. If it’s a gorgeous tight fitting nightgown, wear it. If you have a dress shirt of theirs from their last visit, throw it on with nothing underneath.

Maybe there’s a sexy pair of undies that you both are fond of. No matter what it is, a sexy article of clothing is a certain way to let your partner know that you are ready for them.

More importantly, it is that sexy lingerie, or shirt, or whatever it is, as long as you wear it to make you feel sexy. If it doesn’t feel right to you, don’t wear it. If you feel confident and sexy with what you’re wearing, your partner will be so very turned on.

Candles and Lighting

Candles have such a powerful way of putting us in the right frame of mind. Whenever the house is empty, there are few things more relaxing than lighting a few candles in the bathroom and taking a nice long soak.

From our personal experience, when we are together the mood for love is always set perfectly with a few candles lit beside the bed. If you don’t have candles but have the ability to dim the lights, go for it.

Once again, use the lighting that works best for you. Some of us like the lights off when we make love, others like them on. If you’re not in the same room, the right light will play an important role in whether or not you can see each other.

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Lotion, Creams, and Oils

After taking that long soak, pamper your skin with something that makes you feel sexy! Whether its a body cream, a great smelling lotion, or some coconut oil, treat your skin to a little something extra. Remember, when you feel good about yourself, then your partner will pick up on this.

Your choice of skincare can also become a great way to tease your partner during your time together. Slowly apply the lotion to your body in a way that drives your partner crazy.

Make them ask you to keep going!

If you’re lucky enough to have your partner with you, take turns giving each other a massage. When the two of you are relaxed and pampered, amazing things are bound to follow!

Porn or Erotic Stories

Porn has become one of our favorite ways to get in the mood for love. There are times when one of us wants the other but we’ve had a long day and we’re just not there yet.

The right type of porn can help you get interested and excited. Whatever it is that gets you off, watch some before hooking up with your partner. Get inspired by what they are doing, explore your body, and think of your partner.

There are few things that can get your mind in the mood for sex better than watching porn.

If porn isn’t your thing, try your hand at reading something steamy. If you’re with your partner, pick a section from your book or website and have your partner read it to you. Take turns reading to each other! There is an abundance of great erotic stories out there that can be a terrific catalyst for setting you on the right path.


Music has the ability to take us to unimaginable places. Some of us are stuck working in drab offices, but by simply popping in our earbuds and turning up the music we are taken to another place.

Whenever we find ourselves apart but missing each other, it’s music that bridges the gap and puts us in the right frame of mind. So while you’re getting ready to see your partner in person or online, put on something that makes you think of each other.

Tripod/Selfie Stick

When you and your partner are scheduling time to be intimate together online there’s literally nothing worse than a bad camera angle. You don’t want your partner looking up your nose. Part of spending intimate time together online means you and your partner will be trying to get off.

It can be difficult to accomplish this while you are holding on to a phone or a tablet. One of the most amazing inventions is the selfie stick/tripod combo. Most online retailers sell them for less than $20 USD and they are a lifesaver for those of us who have sex online when we are away from our partner. By simply setting your phone in the holding brackets, you free yourself up to do whatever it is you want to do and you avoid those unfortunate nostril shots.

So there you have it, our shortlist of what it takes to set the mood for love. It can be difficult getting in the right frame of mind for sex, especially when you and your partner are miles apart. We hope to have passed along some helpful tips.

Remember to keep you and your partner in mind. Wear what makes you happy and it will drive them wild. Put on some music that takes you to a specific moment together and soak your stress away. If your day has been too much but you don’t want to miss your intimate time, some romantic porn or a great piece of erotica can set you off.

Take it from Big Sean, you can never go wrong with a little Marvin Gaye and some chardonnay.

Cheers everyone!

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MarriedToys are a husband and wife team taking a different approach to reviewing sex toys.