Perhaps the only holiday you’ll happily stay in bed for, 31st July is National Orgasm Day - a whole 24 hours dedicated to the big O. Whether you’re flying solo or coupling up, we’re on a mission to get people in the mood for pleasure and enjoying their best orgasms yet. Struggle to climax or simply want to better your orgasm game every single time? You’re in the right place.
Here, we explain why orgasms feel so good, de-mystify ruined orgasms and put the focus on foreplay, mindful masturbation and how to orgasm hands-free. Get ready to have your sex life changed forever.
Why do orgasms feel good?
Sensual release. Tingling ecstasy. Utter bliss that you just can’t get enough of. Sexual climax is often seen as the ultimate pleasure-seeking goal – but why do orgasms feel so good?
When our body releases the muscular tension and genital blood flow that builds up during arousal, there’s a blood rush and a release of feel-good hormones to the rest of the body.
And, as neuroscientist Adam Safron outlined in this 2016 study, sexual stimulation focuses our neurons to the point that we’re sent into a trance-like altered state of consciousness. This trance allows us to concentrate solely on the pleasurable sensation we’re experiencing, making it more intense.
A mindful approach to sex
Knowing that focusing on feel-good sensations results in heightened pleasure can help us achieve the blissful ecstasy we all crave. It's said that if you actively try to fall asleep, you’re less likely to fall asleep than if you just embrace the moment you’re in. The same goes for orgasms.
Rather than a goal-oriented approach, adopt a mindful approach to sex and hone your attention in on what you’re feeling right now. You’ll be enjoying a knee-trembler before you know it.
Get to know your body’s needs
What ramps up sexual desire or slows it down is different for everyone, so allowing time to figure out what you need to get in the mood is essential. Do you become fully aroused with the help of erotic words or visuals?
Do you need to engage in sexual touch before you're raring to go? Do you get turned on out of nowhere? All this information will help you get to know yourself and your desires better. Make time for discovery and explore your sexuality.
Put the focus on foreplay
Foreplay isn’t just a ‘nice-to-have’ – it near enough guarantees a stronger orgasm than if you just get straight down to business. In fact, heightened arousal means you’ll have tenser muscles and a greater blood flow to your genitals.
That means when you reach orgasm, the greater your release… and pleasure. Edging (different to a ‘ruined orgasm’) can produce similar results and involves building yourself up to the brink of orgasm before toning it down again. When you finally allow yourself to climax, it will be stronger.
Take all the valuable learnings from your sexual exploration, and use them to get as horny as humanly possible before submitting to waves of intense pleasure.
Hold up – what is a ruined orgasm?
A ruined orgasm is similar to edging in that it’s often the result of start / stop stimulation, usually at the hands of a partner. But that’s where the similarities end.
Commonly seen as a fetish or a form of dominant / submissive play, ruined orgasms don’t result in the climactic feeling you’d usually expect. Generally, if someone enjoys and eroticizes being in control of another person, they’d get especially turned on during this kind of play.
How to have a hands-free orgasm
Watching it on the internet vs actually knowing how to have a hands-free male orgasm or hands-free female orgasm are two very different things, but there are plenty of techniques both sexes can experiment with. From using a shower head to explore erogenous zones to dry humping and even erotic hypnosis, learning how to have a hands-free orgasm can add extra dimension to your climaxing.
But the fun doesn't have to stop there. Male masturbators such as Keon and wearable sex toys for women have totally changed the rules of the game when it comes to achieving hands-free orgasms. You can control your partner's toy from a distance, and remotely pair your devices to share the same rhythm and pressure at the same time, adding an entirely new dimension to the session. Our innovative Keon can even be used with a wearable neck strap to truly free your hands up for whatever else you’d like…
Learn to communicate with partners
Some of us are so used to people-pleasing in day-to-day life that this spills over into our sex life. The result? We view our own pleasure as secondary and always put partners first. Stop!
The thing to consider here is that your partner will probably have a better time if they know you’re enjoying yourself – it’s sexy! If putting your own pleasure first feels too uncomfortable, practice making requests and exercising authority outside of the bedroom.
Begin by learning to ask for help when needed and saying no to things you don’t want to do in your everyday life. Eventually, it will boost your ability to apply the same rules when getting hot and heavy between the sheets.
Remember, National Orgasm Day is an all-day thing, so use the time to discover how to give yourself an orgasm and have a whole lot of fun.