Part 4 of 12
'And so,' Justine sighed, 'I became acquainted with the bitter, sweet and the salty facets of love, all within the same night.'
'That's quite a dirty way to end a dirty story,' I said, grinning.
Justine looked at me with big, not quite innocent eyes.
'Oh no, my story is far from over!' she said and she continued:
'As I already said, that day had turned my life upside down and the next day this became quite obvious. Jacques, Marie and I were laying in my bed; three naked, bodies intertwined like young beach trees in a swamp forest.
The light of day just began to stream through the gaps in the curtains, when suddenly the door of my room swung open. There stood my father, who had returned a day earlier than I had been expecting him.
His eyes met mine, as I was desperately grabbing a blanket to cover my naked body. He did not say a word, but that was by no means comforting, for in his face I witnessed an expression of disgust that was utterly mortifying.
After my father had shut the door with so much force that three of its four window panes shattered to pieces, Jacques and Marie jumped out of bed, dressed in a frenzy and ran outside, without saying a word.
All-day I stayed in bed, petrified, confused and terrified to leave my room. When darkness began to fall I heard my father's steps on the stairs.
'I have made dinner, you should come,' he spoke from behind the door with a strangely monotonous voice.
I decided I had no choice but to accept his invitation. Needless to say, it was not a comfortable dinner! We ate in silence and my father stared at his food, at his shoes, at the door – anywhere but at me.
Finally, he spoke, without lifting his eyes: “Justine, you and I can no longer live under the same roof. You need to leave this house. I have already made inquiries and tomorrow you will enroll at Madame Héloïse's convent school.”
I protested in vain, though my protests were meek and without conviction, for a poisonous cocktail of heartbreak, shame, guilt and self-loathing had weakened my spirit to such a degree that I no longer cared about my future at all.
Madame Héloïse was the headmistress of the school for young girls that was situated between the forest and a large vineyard, about eighteen kilometers from our village and where I was to spend the first years of my life as an adult. She was a tall blonde (though not quite a tall as Marie), in her forties, who's deep blue eyes contrasted with her pale skin, like two deep lakes in a glacier.
She was always impeccably dressed in a nuns habit. All the girls feared her because she was haughty, inquisitive and unforgiving. She ruled the convent like an empress with despotic tendencies: meticulous and without scruples.
Good behavior was stimulated, though never awarded; bad behavior was punished. Rumors were told that Madame Héloïse had psychic abilities: no detail escaped her; it was impossible to evade her attention or to keep secrets from her.
It goes without saying that I was not quite pleased with my new environment and that I was terrified of the headmistress. I tried as hard as I could to blend in, to be a good student and not to stand out in any way.
Life at the convent was hard and dull. I did not very much like the other girls and found it hard to acquaint myself with them. I tried with all my might to focus on Bible reading, as I was hoping to find enlightenment in the words of Scripture. But quite the opposite happened: the lack of stimuli in daily life and the vivid images in the texts I was studying greatly intensified my imagination.
Before I went to sleep, as well as during my sleep, I relived the night I had spent with Jacques and Marie. The visions of sex in my mind became so strong that it was almost as if they were real. I saw their naked bodies wriggling: their moving limbs, squinting eyes, their gasping mouths, their bottoms; her breasts, his penis – entering her, entering me. I felt him inside of me and I felt her fingers, caressing and exploring my body from head to toe.
After a few weeks of this, I could not sleep without having masturbated at least once.
And it only got worse: the characters that populated the Bible began to change; suddenly David had Jacques' features and Bathsheba became indistinguishable from Marie; Samson was always naked, his massive muscles bulged and sweat dripped from his long manes; Jacob had an erection while he grappled with nude angels; even Jesus hung on the cross with an enormous erection, his eyes turned skywards in divine rapture.
I began to look at the other girls in a different light: no longer did I envy them, no longer did they bore me, no longer did I long for their friendship or respect, no, they became objects of lust for me. I stared at the round shapes beneath their clothes, I peeked at their firm young arms, legs, and bellies as they dressed in the morning and undressed in the evening.
It did not take long before the girls began to notice. My isolation grew as they started to shun me and it was obvious that they gossiped a great deal about me. But there was one girl, Léonore, who met my stares with a smile. She often made me blush, because she did not cast down her deep brown eyes when I looked at her. She was quite short and had an androgynous face.
She wore her chestnut-colored hair in a boyish fashion. All in all, she would have looked like a teenage boy had it not been for her enormous bosom: no girl in the convent could compete with that magnificent pair!
Léonore slept in a bed beneath the large windows of the dormitory, while my bed stood on the other side of the gangway, next to a wall. We could easily espy each other and began to play risky games, for, when we were getting ready for bed, we tried to show as much of our bodies to each other as we possibly could without being it becoming too conspicuous to the other girls.
It was quite likely that one of them would talk about our behavior to one of the teachers. The idea that Madame Héloise would hear of our escapades was beyond frightening! Therefore we made a silent pact never to talk to each other and never to be seen together anywhere during the day. Our mutual fascination remained strictly physical.
One night I was awoken from my frenzied erotic dreams by a beam of moonlight that shone straight into my face. I sat up in bed and noticed that the light of the full moon was so bright that it was as if a large lamp had been attached just outside of the dormitory.
I looked around me and saw that all the other girls were sleeping – all except one: Léonore also sat up in her bed. I could clearly see her because her entire bed bathed in moonlight.
When she saw me she smiled. Then she did something she had not done before: she licked her lips. She then began to caress her body with both her hands. She sat on her knees and slowly began to remove her nightgown. My breathing became irregular and I nearly choked when she exposed her right nipple.
She then exposed her left nipple too and dropped her gown, so that her entire bosom became visible. Even in my wildest dreams – and by now you know that my dreams were wild indeed – I had never imagined such magnificent breasts! So large and yet so firm, they proudly protruded from her chest like two wedding cakes.
I touched myself between my legs and noticed my underwear was drenched. Meanwhile, Léonore dropped her panties. The moonlight that streamed between her legs accentuated her labia. Her right hand moved towards those mysterious regions that I craved to touch so much that my heart was about to explode when suddenly a shape appeared in the doorway.
The shape moved resolutely towards Léonore's bed. We both screamed as we saw that this silent specter was, in fact, Madame Héloïse! She did not even let Léonore dress, but grabbed her by her hair and dragged the poor girl, who was kicking and screaming, out of the dormitory.
Floris is a Dutch illustrator, storyboard and comic artist based in Amsterdam.
Follow him on Instagram @florispieterse
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