How to Make a Fake Ass – DIY Male Sex Toys

how to make a fake ass Kiiroo

How to make your own Anus-Shaped Male Masturbator. 

So, you’re looking to tap that back door but your partner won’t let you!?
So, you are lusting after some hardcore Greek, but you just ain’t got the Tzaziki to dip in….

Have no fear! We’ve got your back (side)

We’ll show you how to make an ultra-low-tech male masturbator with an entrance mimicking an anus, with stuff you are most likely to have laying around the house.
Today we will help you macGyver the most popular sphincter in the human body.

 

1. The Mise en Place

Real Mise en Place how to make a fake ass

For this sexy, sloppy, messy build you will need the following materials

  • 2 Slithers of Bubblewrap
  • Vaseline
  • 2 unpowdered rubber gloves
  • A Sock (preferably clean and soft)
  • A tall plastic Cup
  • A condom
  • Poster Tack
  • Rubber bands
  • Some Marbles
  • Gaffer Tape
  • Scissors
  • A Stuffed Pillow

 

2a. Place the Poster Tack

Place half of the poster tack in the middle of a slither of bubble wrap. Alternatively, you could use some playdoh instead

 

2b. Add a Couple of Marbles

making a fake ass

 

To create an interesting sensation upon penetration you can add a couple of marbles to flesh out the bubble wrap package.

 

3. Cut Down to Size

making a fake ass

 

Fold over the bubble wrap, folding the bubble wrap 2 inches above the poster tack. Place the package next to your tall plastic cup and cut off the excess wrapping material.

 

4. Tape Dat Thang the f00k up!

making a fake ass

Seal the edges of the package snuggly with the gaffer tape.

 

5. Double up

making a fake ass

Repeat the previous steps so that you end up with two Marble-stuffed bubble wrap packages of the same size. These two packs will form the core of the phuck-tunnel for your home made male masturbator.

 

6. Two Plucks, One Cup

making a fake ass

 

Utilisar las tijeras to cut a hole in the pillow. Grab two claws full of stuffing and put them in the bottom of your cup.
You will need plenty of cushion for the pushin’

 

7. I Glove it tight

making a fake ass

 

Sandwich one of the latex gloves between the marble-goodness. Make sure the glove extends at least an inch and a half over the top rim of the marble package.

 

8. El Burrito Sexual

sexuual burrito male masturbator

Put both marble packages with the glove inside into the tall cup. Start adding as much stuffing to your Passion Burrito as you deem sexy.
This is your chance to really stuff that hole, even before you drop your pants! Leave enough room to fold the flappy edges of the marble packages over the sides of your fappy-cup.

 

 

9. The Funnel of Love

 

making a fake ass

Fold the glove over the edges of the tall cup to hold the marble package and the stuffing inside in place.
If you’d want you could already go all Wanda Jackson on this toy right now and dive deep into the funnel of love,.. but I know you want more out of your low-budget sexperience.
You want to signa that culo! Am I right? Am I right,…  (trying to keep this plastic monstrosity as exotic as I can with my limited amount of Spanish skills)

 

10. Creating the Sphincter 

building the rectum

Cut the sock open at both ends so that you are left with a pipe shape. Do the same to the condom, cutting off a piece so that it matches the length of your sock.
Put the condom inside the sock. Add 2 or three rubber bands around the middle of the sock. Not too tight not to loose. Roll the condom and the sock over on itself, creating a perverted donut with the condom on the outside of it. you must be able to insert three fingers through the hole. if it feels snug, you know ur on the right track. if it feels too loose,.. open the donut up and add a rubber band. Close the donut back up like before when you are done.

11. Through the loop hole

building the rectum

Pull your second unpowdered latex glove through the pleasure donut.

 

12. Mounting Dat Ass

building the rectum

Place the faux-anus over the fap funnel and make sure the glove goes in well.

 

13. The Rim Job

making a fake ass

 

Add some more stuffing and marbles under the rim of the top glove, to create a texture that is pleasing to you.

14. Lube That Cock Monster up!

making a fake ass

So, there you have it. A super messy sticky tight arse-simulator.
I dub it; The Rectal Riot 6000.

Extremely low-tech, extremely yucky, but it gets the job done. Quick and dirty, rough and ready!

 

 

The Pro’s

  • About 4 dollars to make
  • Disposable top part
  • It’ll drain your sack
  • Perfect to pester your co-workers with

The Con’s

  • It feels like a glove with vaseline
  • You’re fucking a glove with vaseline
  • Try getting vaseline out of your pubes without taking a 30-minute bath
  • You’ll get vaseline on your couch,… I just know you will
  • Your roommate or partner will complain about the hole you’ve cut in their throw pillow.

 

Our Advice

Do your self a favor. No amount of home built, frugal, 4 dollar male masturbator can hold a candle to a designer sex toy.
Allow yourself the pleasure so many have already discovered and treat yourself to a proper Fleshlight, Onyx or Launch.
Top tier Sex Tech Scientists from Europe and the US have spent their lives chasing after the perfect Designer Orgasm, and they’ve achieved it in the form of genuine, body safe interactive pleasure products.
Take a look around our shop to see if you fancy anything in particular!
Sex Toys for men are no longer a taboo. Just enjoy yourself and drift away on the tides of the sex tech revolution.

 

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