A guide to masturbation for women
Everyone loves to talk about masturbation without actually talking about masturbation. We’ll share funny stories between our friends or watch masturbation scenes in movies and tv shows, but there’s still an awkwardness about it.
But the reality is everyone masturbates. Since you’re reading this, you probably masturbate, and you’re curious about how your solo pleasure can be better. I don’t blame you!
Masturbation is a great way to reduce stress and pleasure yourself while learning more about your body. Maybe you’re getting tired of your masturbation routine, or you want to know other ways to achieve self-pleasure.
Either way, you came to the right place. In this article, you’re going to learn the top ten tips to help you achieve orgasm during solo sex. Here’s your ultimate guide to masturbation.
1. Learn about your body
You’d be surprised how many of us masturbate, yet don’t know the anatomy of our bodies. Well, how are you going to become a masturbation master if you don’t know where everything is?
Do you know where your erogenous zones are? Where your G-spot is?
2. Accept your fantasies
Here’s the thing. Many women don’t achieve their full potential when masturbating because they’re ashamed of their own fantasies and desires. Listen, there’s no one-size-fits-all approach when it comes to sexual pleasure.
We all get turned on by different things, whether it’s watching porn, foot fetish, bondage, or used panties. The odds are millions of other people share your fantasies. So, accept them and incorporate them into your solo sex sessions.
3. Figure out how to achieve an orgasm
If you haven’t achieved an orgasm, you’re not alone. In fact, this is a huge problem for women. Achieving an orgasm isn’t that easy, and not only does it take an understanding of your body but requires a mental element as well.
Although you shouldn’t be spending every waking second trying to figure out how to orgasm, you should be trying different ways to self-stimulate to achieve an orgasm. This means trying out different positions, sex toys, pressures, and speed.
4. Get out of your head
Do you want to know why so many women struggle to achieve an orgasm when masturbating? The answer is surprising.
It’s because they’re thinking too much about other things. If you want to orgasm when masturbating, you need to be in the moment, focusing on the feeling and sensations going through your body.
You shouldn’t be thinking about what you’re going to make for dinner or the meeting you have tomorrow. These are all distractions. The key to self-pleasure is being in the moment. So, get it out of your head because that’s not going to help you.
5. Use lube
I cannot express this enough. When you’re aroused, your body will naturally self-lubricate. But just because you’re aroused, doesn’t mean you’re going to become very wet. This doesn’t mean you need to call it quits.
Instead, grab some lube and keep going. Water-based lube will keep everything smooth and flowing. Make sure you always have some lube in your nightstand.
6. Go wild and experiment
If you want to have an amazing sex life, then you need to explore your sexuality when you are in a solo session. Use different toys, watch a variety of porn or erotica, focus on different parts of your body.
This is your time to spend focusing on yourself and you what enjoy in bed. If you don’t know what turns you on, then how can you expect someone else to pleasure you? Masturbation is your time to let loose and learn about yourself.
7. Take a break from your usual toys
You probably thought I was going to encourage you to use sex toys when you masturbate. This isn’t to say you shouldn’t use sex toys. By all means, use them. Incorporating sex toys into masturbation can help you explore and discover your body.
But, you should switch your toys. Using the same vibrator or dildo over and over again can create a stale situation. Try other toys out when stimulating yourself; give your vagina a surprise.
8. Don’t do it because you have to
The worst sexual experiences are ones where you feel you have to do it. But listen, you shouldn’t have to do anything. If you don’t feel like masturbating, then don’t do it. If you’re really busy, then don’t try to “squeeze” in a quickie.
Masturbation is self-care, and that means you need to give yourself enough time to enjoy the experience. If you’re not in the mood or feel rushed, you’re not going to be able to indulge in your sexual fantasies and explore your body.
9. Remove distractions
I know you’re addicted to your phone - who isn’t? But, as I said before, you need to get out of your head if you want to truly engage in self-pleasure.
Unless you’re watching erotica or porn, turn off the television, put your phone on silent, and turn some sensual music on. The more distractions you have, the less likely you are to truly immerse yourself in the experience and feel good.
10. Need some literal directions?
Now, if you were looking for a literal step-by-step guide on how to masturbate. Here is one masturbation technique.
To start with, place some lube on your fingers (unless you’re already wet), slide your fingers in between your lips, opening them up.
Move your fingers up and down and back and forth gently, going over your clit and vaginal opening. Don’t rush; tease yourself a bit before going inside. When you’re ready to go in, slide your index and middle fingers into your vaginal opening.
They should be slightly curled in a ‘come hither’ motion. Then, move in and out at a pace that stimulates you. During this time, you should experiment with different pressures and speeds, finding the pattern which hits the spot.
If you want to take it to the next level, slip a finger into your anus while masturbating. Just make sure it’s lubed!
Masturbation shouldn’t be a chore; see it as a way to explore and discover new things about your body. The next time you’re alone, create a relaxing space for yourself, and try out these tips.
Remember, they say practice makes perfect, so don’t feel discouraged if you don’t get it right the first or second time. Achieving or reaching orgasm when masturbating will take time and patience. But it’s completely worth it.
Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer best known for her writings on Kiiroo, LovePanky, Post Pravda, and more. She's the creator and author of her short stories on TheLonelySerb. She completed her first degree in Criminology and continued and finished her Masters in Investigative Psychology, but then decided to follow her true passion of writing.