Extreme Fetish Anyone?
Fetishes are the spice of life.
Not to knock vanilla, of course, but sometimes we like a bit of cinnamon in our ice cream too (and sometimes even some chocolate chips too). And we don’t discriminate either—as long as your fetish is practiced in a safe, sane, and consensual manner we’re happy and encouraging of your practices.
That being said, some fetishes require a bit of extra tender love and care and, in those instances, safety needs to be made an absolute priority. So, allow us to walk you through what we believe are some of the best precautions to take when exploring extreme fetishes.
1. Work Out Those Safe Words and Actions
Safe words are standard practice in the BDSM community. An obscure word works well but so does a traffic light system—green (yes), amber (nearing the limit, but don’t stop), and red (stop now).
But sometimes verbal cues won’t be enough. Sometimes you’ll be bound, gagged, or generally incapable of speaking clearly. In these cases, working out non-verbal stop signals ahead of time is an absolute must.
Safety cues can be very personal but here are some general ones as a starting point:
- Three clear rhythmic grunts in a pattern that is different to your usual sexual moaning.
- Purchase a cheap dog clicker and keep it in your hand during scenes where you’re gagged to click if needed.
- Every now and then the top, in the dynamic, places their hand in the submissive’s, if it is squeezed then everything is okay.
- Rolling over (if possible).
All of these potential cues will depend on the scenario but as long as the cue is a clear variation on what you’re doing then it should work well to signal a stopping point.
2. Consider Any Fetish-Specific Safety Equipment
If you’re in to rope suspension (or rope in general) then you’ll need to make sure you have a good pair of medical-grade scissors in your arsenal of gear.
If you’re a fan of medical play then you’d best make sure you can sterilize your equipment, and if you’re doing something very intense then you may actually need some first aid or specific medical training alongside the proper equipment.
In all of these instances having what you need to hand is so crucial—better to have safety gear and not need it than need it and not have it, this is your mantra from now on.
How do you determine what you need? Well….
3. Do Your Research
If you’re interested in an extreme fetish then chances are you’re already well-verse in the erotica and pornography that surrounds the topic (at the very least) but now is the time to get technical.
Make sure you do your research in to the practicalities of your fetish. If you can it may help to reach out to a pre-established expert and see if they can give you key advice. Essentially get the theory down before you even try to put it in to practice.
If there are any classes you can attend then even better.
The more you know.
4. Alert A Friend (If Needed)
If you are in to an extreme fetish that inherently involves some form of potentially risky behaviour (or even just meeting new people in a public space) then make sure you keep at least one person in the know.
The ideal option is a friend or partner who knows about your fetish and is happy to help you fulfil it, but if you need to practice some minor obfuscation then so be it—having someone know where you are, even without full details, is better than being completely AWOL.
This may seem overly precautious but sometimes it pays to keep people in the know. You never know when it will come in handy.
5. Disclose Your Medical Details
Especially if your fetish may interfere with them.
Let potential partners know if you have a heart condition, high blood pressure, bouts of dizziness, etc. Anything and everything they need to know.
Likewise, let them know if there are any mental health concerns that they need to be aware of and keep in mind. Your mental health is just as valid as any other form.
And, of course, you’ll want to let them know your sexual health status ahead of time. This is mandatory.
One of the most extreme fetishes out there is electric stimulation. Here is how to practice it safely and how to enjoy it.
How to Enjoy Electric Stimulation
This may shock you, but electrostimulation can be quite erotic. While we usually focus on new technology like Teledildonics, we thought electro-stim was just too interesting to pass up.
For centuries, people have been using electrical currents for both medical and entertainment purposes. It’s no wonder, then, that eventually, we took to electrical current as sexual stimulation. So, how can you play safely? Let’s break it down.
Electro stim Safety
In order to keep electrical play safe, you should always use low current. Even a high voltage on a low current is considered reasonably safe, except for people who are pregnant or have heart conditions.
You can use a TENS unit, a Violet Wand, or another specially-made electrostimulation toy. Each of these works in a different way, but the end goal is the same: To deliver a jolt that perks you up and stimulates you in a whole new way.
It’s also important to use the right lubricant. A water-based lube will conduct electricity but still protect your skin. Olive oil is another good choice, but a bit more difficult to wash off and generally not considered safe for the vulva or vagina.
If you’re new to electro-stim, try it on less sensitive parts of your body first. You want to be sure you enjoy the sensation before exposing your body to anything harsher. If you find you like it, move on to more erogenous zones, like the nipples, vulva, or penis.
Electro stim for Beginners
For the average electro-stim beginner, a wand kit is perfect. They’re a bit of an investment, but a good one (like the Violet Wand or Neon Wand) is made to last and designed to be safely used for pleasure.
A wand kit usually includes the wand itself, of course, as well as a few glass wand attachments (frequently called electrodes), and sometimes a body pad conductor (like the kind a TENS unit uses).
Overall, it’s important to keep safety in mind when you’re doing any kind of BDSM play. Make sure your devices are safe, your partner is comfortable, and you have plenty of lube and a backup plan in case of an emergency.
With so many great electro-stim toys on the market today, from beginner’s wands with low voltage to units suitable for an EMS team, you should be able to find just the right shock for you.
And That’s All For Now!
If you have an ‘extreme’ fetish then we trust you’ve got a good idea of how to move forward with your desires, but we hope that this article has provided some food for thought and acted as affirmation for your current practices.
And, if you’re just about to embark on exploring your or your partners’ fetish, we wish you all the best and hope we have helped guide you towards a safe, sane, and consensual practice.