Fast and Efficient
The holiday season is right around the corner, and that means one thing: a lot of family time. Hanging out with your parents, siblings, kids, and uncles is great, but then you also want some time alone with your partner.
Let’s be honest; you’re not going to get three hours of alone-time to watch Netflix and chill. Plus, with all the holiday stress that comes with it, you need some time to unwind. And we all know the best way to unwind. So, if you want to indulge in some blissful holiday sex, there are a couple of ways you can sneak in a quickie.
1. Timing is everything
When it comes to sneaking in a quickie, timing is everything. If everyone is taking an afternoon nap, this would be the best time for you and your partner to sneak off. Pick moments when people are distracted, so when they realize you’re not around, it’ll be by the time your quickie is over.
2. Focus on foreplay
The beauty of foreplay is you don’t need a bed for it. Foreplay is a pretty broad term that covers flirting, kissing, dirty talk, and massage. So, you don’t need a lot to build sexual tension with your partner. Playing footsie under the dining table or whispering dirty things in your partner’s ear will arouse your partner. Your quickie doesn’t have to be so quick if you focus on foreplay.
3. Be creative
Though your bed may be your go-to place, this time, you’re going to need to be more creative. If you’re hosting, you already know the areas you can escape to in your house.
If you’re a guest, take a couple of minutes to scope the area for some potential quickie spots. Maybe you and your partner go for a “romantic stroll” through the woods, or take the car to “grab more eggnog.” In other words, those will be your moments to sneak one in.
4. Get low, real low
Your bed probably comes with its unique sounds, and that’s something you don’t want anyone to hear right now. So, for a sneaky and quiet quickie, you may need to get down low to avoid squeaky bedsprings and banging headboards.
Grab a blanket and a couple of pillows and get on the floor. You two can figure out where to go from there. But one thing is for sure; your quickie will be super quiet.
5. Play the quiet game
Having quiet sex isn’t easy, but if you make it into a game, it can be a lot of fun. Create a game where you and your partner must have sound-free sex. You can use your hand to cover their mouth and vice versa. Or if you happen to have something that could be used as a gag, that works as well. It’s fun and a little naughty, all wrapped together.
6. Hop in the shower
The “I’m going to take a shower” routine is a classic and works for many reasons. Firstly, who’s going to prevent you from practicing hygiene? Secondly, you don’t actually need to take a shower, just have the water running while you and your partner have fun. Sure, you can have shower sex together, but remember it is a little risky. The last thing you want is to slip and fall.
7. Stick with the classics
Listen, when it comes to quickies, it’s not the time to pull out your karma sutra book and discover a new position. If you want a good quickie, then stick to the classic positions - they’ll never let you down.
Missionary and doggy-style positions are considered classics for a reason. Plus, these sex positions don’t too much time to figure out; you already know what to do. So, choose a position you and your partner as well acquainted with. Leave the complex positions for when things settle down, and you have time to try new things.
8. You don’t need to have full-out sex
Here’s the thing, you don’t necessarily need to have penetrative sex for a quickie. You may not have enough time, and if that’s the case, stick to everything but penetrative sex.
What does this mean? Well, you have to give your partner a quick blowjob, have them go down on you, and pleasure the erogenous zones. Sex doesn’t always have to be penetrative for it to feel good.
Plus, by not have full-out sex, the sexual tension between you and your partner will build throughout the day and come as a bang at night.
9. Leave some clothes on
When it comes to quickies, you’re not supposed to strip down to your birthday suit. When there’s family around, you’re not going to have too much time, and taking off your clothes will only waste the precious minutes you have.
So, for a successful quickie, the only thing that needs to slide down is your underwear and pants. If you or your partner is wearing a dress or skirt, even better. Plus, being partially dressed is pretty hot, and leaves more to the imagination.
10. Don’t leave a trace
The thing about quickies is no one is supposed to figure out what just happened. No one. Wear a condom and have some tissue in your pocket to wrap the condom in. This isn’t supposed to be a grand event; it’s ninja-style sex. Most of your family will assume you just went to the bathroom or left the house to grab some milk. Little do they know what really happened, and let’s keep it that way.
If you thought sneaking in a quickie would be a challenge this holiday season, well, your prayers have been answered. These are easy and effective ways to sneak in some one-on-one time with your partner while everyone is sipping on eggnog or watching A Christmas Story.
Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer best known for her writings on Kiiroo, LovePanky, Post Pravda, and more. She's the creator and author of her short stories on TheLonelySerb. She completed her first degree in Criminology and continued and finished her Masters in Investigative Psychology, but then decided to follow her true passion of writing.