10 Reasons Why I Like Being Single
Singles day is coming up and this article compiles all the reasons that have ever compelled me to call time on my relationship. Thanks to the great experiences I’ve had in the world-of-dating, it’s made me a lot easier to distinguish what the warning signs might be in a bad relationship. (Or sending my fella packing saying to the left, to the left.)
By no means is this solid relationship advice for everyone, after all, we are all very different. But my experiences might show you some of the ways I’ve realized I’m just not compatible with my significant other.
10. Missed calls
Time is precious. Especially when you are in a relationship. If personal space seems too much to ask from your partner, it could be a reason to start triggering alarm bells. Two of my relationships have ended badly because personal space became very pretty much non-existent.
There’s being joined at the hip, and then there’s taking it too far. If your partner is insistent to spend time with you to the point where you feel uncomfortable, it’s time to embrace the single life
9. Arguments all week
Yes, that’s right. Nine arguments a week means more than once a day, twice on two special days of the week. (We’re betting one of those days might be Monday though, probably in the morning.)
Jokes aside, arguing all the time in a relationship is tiring, time-consuming and miserable. Nobody wants to come home from a long day of work to a night of name-calling or unnecessary squabbling. Some couples manage to form a lot of ‘banter’ out of petty squabbles – but serious arguments on a regular basis are not good for anyone’s mental health. If you and your partner cant really seem to get on, it might be time to accept the relationship won’t work out.
8. Holidays I didn’t go on
It goes without saying that every relationship means making sacrifices. In my time, I passed up on the chance to go away with my girls because I had already made plans with my (then) boyfriend, or I knew he wouldn’t be comfortable with me wearing an “I’M HORNY” t-shirt and necking jager bombs in Ibiza.
The scary thing about relationships sometimes is that we can feel so absorbed in them, that we forget about the other important things in life. The truth is, you might never remember your boyfriend/girlfriend from 2014, but your friends will never let you forget the holiday that you missed out on because of them.
7. Nights of bad sex
7 nights of bad sex means bad sex every night of the week. It’s awkward. It’s embarrassing. It’s anxiety-inducing, and it’s sometimes even painful. I don’t want to label anyone as ‘bad,’ in bed, but communication in the bedroom goes a long, long way. But sometimes it’s not enough.
Perhaps the chemistry isn’t there. Perhaps you’re into BDSM and roleplay, and he’s just not that way inclined. Maybe you want him to talk dirty. Maybe he’s tired of doggy-style. Whatever it is that’s pulling you apart in the bedroom, something needs to change. If the sex isn’t there, the relationship never will be.
6. Appalling Date Nights
How bad was your worst ever date been? Has it ever been with an actual boyfriend? Mine has. Every time me and my ex went away, we could never decide on anything to do. It became very clear that we were very different people, with opposite wants, interests, and needs.
Even when we managed to settle on something more mutual, which was often something involving alcohol, I couldn’t help but notice things were going very stale. If you find yourself more interested in your lasagne or a pint than your actual partner on a regular basis, maybe it’s just not for you?
5. Bad outfits
I try not to judge people, but obviously, I did use to judge my boyfriend’s taste of clothes on the sly. (I’m only human.) I noticed that when the time was up on our relationship, I had formed a sort of self-loathing for his awful hat collection. There was absolutely no need for it.
Every time he put one on, I couldn’t help but feel that he looked ridiculous. Now, I’m not warning anybody away from wearing hats. But if you’re on the rocks with your partner and everything they do or wear or say is starting to piss you off, it’s not healthy to harbor such negativity. Nor is it fair on them. (There might be someone out there that will love his hats!) Call it quits for heaven’s sake! Move on.
If your relationship is more up-and-down than a trampoline park and you’ve already called it quits a hundred times before, it’s probably not the most secure or stable relationship.
It’s not healthy to be in a relationship that is a constant state of flux. You want to be able to rely on your partner. Forever is a long, long time. If you’ve already broken up 6 times in 8 months, is it really a relationship?
Your mates are probably bored of hearing about your constant close-calls too. Maybe just do everyone a favor, including yourself, and make it for real next time?
If you often find yourself wishing there was a ‘way-out’ of your relationship, you are not alone. Thousands of people find themselves in situations where they feel like leaving their partner isn’t possible. Perhaps you're sharing an apartment or you feel unable to break apart from them emotionally.
My last relationship was one of the hardest break-ups I ever had because we were so embedded in each other’s lives. We were in the same friend groups and we had studied at university together.
The simple truth is that you don’t have to stay with anybody – you don’t owe anyone a relationship! Don’t just wish of a way to leave your partner, if you feel so strongly- just go! Happier times are waiting, embrace National Singles Day as a way of life!
2. Separate Lives
Do you even see your partner? Do you ever just think your relationship is a bit pointless? Many relationships don't work because they get to see each other as often. Or they both are into doing different things.
Having separate lives and priorities can create a divided and unfair relationship. If you don't put effort for each other, then this relationship isn't for you.
1. Is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do
As the famous song goes, one is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do butttttttttt - two is just as bad as one. And it’s because you shouldn’t feel alone in your relationship. If your partner shirks all the responsibilities and makes you feel like you might as well just be single anyway, it could be time to just actually BE single.