Dating and Social Media

October 01, 2014

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Dating and Social Media

Social media can be a minefield when you’re trying to date, but it doesn’t have to be. If you follow a few simple rules, you can be sure to present yourself accurately, but in the best possible light.

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When it comes to your profile photos, be smart. Keep them recent, preferably within the last 6 months. Do not pout, do not scowl, do not look like you have just read one of Jaden Smith’s tweets. Any type of face a bird might make (duck, sparrow, etc.) is probably not going to work in your favor. If you’re holding alcohol, you should still look sober in your picture and it should be a reasonably adult drink. No 40s, no FourLoko – unless you’re courting entire frats instead of potential partners.

Some people would advise keeping politics and religion off of social media. Personally, I think it depends on your preferences and how strong your beliefs are. If it’s very important for you to, say, meet a fellow Conservative? Absolutely include a few references to your political beliefs. Maliciously attacking other groups, though? That’s a bad idea, whether you’re dating or not.

Drunk Tweeting and Drunkbooking never look classy. Sure, you can do it, but it’s going to narrow your dating pool. From someone who has – on more than one occasion – drunk texted someone, she was just getting to know: Put your phone in airplane mode, or give it to a designated sober friend.

Make use of privacy settings. While very few things are truly private anymore, you can save yourself some embarrassment by going through your profiles and adjusting your settings. If you have old photos that you want to keep, but you don’t want to remain visible, switch them to “Just Me”. In order to better filter the content that gets displayed, opt for a notification and an approval option for anything posted on your Facebook wall.

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Ever complained about an ex publicly? You might want to re-think that. For one thing, if it’s a recent post, it might make your potential dates think you’re not ready to be on the market. Or, they might think you’re too dramatic. It’s fine to blow off steam, but do it with your friends, not your whole friends list.

As for some of the qualities people often look for on social media, positivity and friendliness are obvious top contenders. A positive outlook is just naturally attractive. While your main profile picture shouldn’t be you in a group (how do we know which face is yours?), group photos make it clear that you’re sociable. As a bonus, the human mind tends to view faces together as a sort of sum of attractiveness, so don’t be worried about being overshadowed.

It all comes down to a simple idea: Be yourself, but put your best foot forward.

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